Reply to I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - A man here who cheated on his wife, felt horrible, then lied about it for almost 15 years.  When I finally confessed - it was HELL for both of us. One of the things that hurt her almost as much as my betrayal was that my wife was never given the chance to react in real time, I never gave her the option of ditching my lying cheating ass and finding someone better.  I not only cheated on her and our marriage but I cheated out of the opportunity to make an honest opinion of whether to stay married to me.  Insert knife, then twist...  You have to own this, suffer the consequences, whatever they are, and then move on.  Don't insult him further by lying just because you are a chicken shit (like I was).  You did it, own it and deal with the consequences - then move on. Hopefully your marriage will survive.[/quote]
If you were my husband and confessed about something that happened 15 years ago, I'd call you stupid for bringing that up (because you did it to make yourself make feel better, not me), and go on with our life.

When my DH and I were married, I told him that if he ever has a one-night stand with no intention of doing it again, then I hope he has enough brains to never let me find out because I don't want to know. I expect to be protected from this information. [/quote]

A truly random one night stand is not a threat to the marriage.  It could, potentially even help in certain circumstances.  An ongoing affair with the emotions, secrets, and lies is DEFCON-1.[/quote]
I agree that if the OP uses this as a catalyst to figure out what's wrong with/missing from her marriage and takes the steps to improve it, this can be a blessing in disguise. It can have a great outcome, despite the process being extremely messed up.[/quote]

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