Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I skipped my little sister's wedding due to short notice and the travel was too expensive. My brother didn't attend my college graduation, he needed to work. Each of us lives some distance from the other, so we see each other when it's convenient which means we often miss birthdays and other important celebrations. My oldest child has participated in several prestigious competitions and no one outside of the immediate family has ever been able to attend. That doesn't mean they're cheering for him any less, or any less proud of him for how hard he's worked. It's unlikely I will make it to all or even most of my nieces and nephews college graduations.

I would not require my children to skip a performance/game/concert in order to attend a wedding. Perhaps if the child was in the chorus or 4th chair then I'd suggest they see if they could miss. If she's playing the part of Annie, she's committed to the performance and that's her obligation. If I erred and gave her the wrong date for the wedding, that's on me, not her. if she happens to have an understudy and wishes to miss the performance, she can discuss that with the director. Knowing the possible long-term fall out of that discussion, I'd recommend against it. Even if the director was a "family first! of course go to this wedding even though you're throwing the entire production into disarray!" you won't be able to convince me that that director won't think twice about casting my daughter again, who knows what other scheduling errors might occur? My son is the goalie on his club soccer team. While there are other kids who could play in a pinch, he's the goalie. Having him out for a game is a big deal. They don't expect him to play sick or injured, but there is a bit of a scale about what sick is. If he has pneumonia, he shouldn't be playing. If he has a cold? Get out there and play. Same thing with a performance. If my daughter's playing Annie? A sprained ankle isn't going to stop her. Noro virus would keep her home.

I suppose it's useful that my family members and I all seem to share a similar appreciation of everyone's priorities. My sister's wedding may well be the most important thing in the world to her. She recognizes that my daughter's musical role is of a similar level of importance to her.[/quote]

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