Reply to When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Or maybe, just maybe, she (drumroll please) cares about the kids?  You have no way of looking inside her head and knowing that she has some other motivation.  And trust me, a cruel, assuming-the-negative attitude like that will turn no one on.[/quote]

It is entirely possible to care about the kids, even to spoil them rotten, and STILL have time/energy left over to maintain a relationship with one's spouse. That should include regular sex.

Doesn't much matter what her motives are, it's her selfish action that dooms such a marriage.
[/quote]

You really can't have it both ways.  If you call it "selfish" then you are speculating as to her motives.  For most women who are in that predicament, you'd be wrong.  For the period of time when I was solely focused on kids to the exclusion of all else, it had nothing to do with anything selfish.  I didn't care what other moms thought of me, and I certainly wasn't looking for any prizes.  I was trying to do my best for my tough kids in a tough situation, and I was very afraid of letting my kids down.  I agree with you that energy and time needs to be devoted to the marriage, but really disagree with the ridiculous assertion that when the mom is overly focused (in your opinion) on the kids, it's out of some selfish impulse. You're really doing some mental gymnastics to get to that point just so you can make it "her fault", which is really unproductive anyway.
We turned it around and are MUCH better now, but if my DH had told me I was just being selfish, I wouldn't have wanted to try with him and we wouldn't be where we are.  I would have hated him for judging me that way and felt like he didn't get me at all.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics