Reply to SAHMs, do you worry about your husband leaving you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I have no idea for other people, but for me, yes, it is much easier. I have the same amount of help I had when I worked (well, a lot less childcare but more childcare so I can do things for myself). I cook a lot more, but I like that so it isn't a chore. I have all day to do the errands I used to do right after work or on weekends. We never have to figure out who can cover when the nanny is out sick or who is going to take the kids to their doctors appts. I no longer run around like a chicken with its head cut off. I have time to exercise and read. I have time to take cooking classes and volunteer for causes I care about. If a child is sick and needs picked up, I never panic about how I am never going to get my work done and sent to the client as promised. It certainly isn't for everyone and there can be drawbacks, but our lives are so much more calm. [/quote]

Also, my husband doesn't mind being the sole breadwinner. We discussed this a lot, because it would stress me out a lot if I had that responsibility. But he said he doesn't think it is much different from when I worked. We have plenty of emergency savings/investments and he made multiples of what I made, so it would have been a big change if he lost his job whether I had my job or not. Obviously this is very specific to the couple. [/quote]

I agree. When I was working (same hours like my DH) for a fraction of what he was making life was much harder for both of us.

Now that I SAHM,[b] it is like he is paying me not to work so he has less of childcare duties. [/b] My DH is a very devoted dad and he likes to spend his weekends doing things with the kids as a family.  At the same time,he really wants the kids to excel in school and extra-curricular activities - so he wanted me to be supervising the kids.  I make sure that they were getting enrichment at home. they were participating in sports and EC activities, they are eating nutritious well balanced, delicious food, they have time to relax and socialize extensively with family and friends.  When he is off work - he does not have to worry about how the kids are doing at school etc - because that is all taken care of.

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You actually live in a partnership where you feel like your husband pays you to make his life easier?  Just, wow. [b] What a wonderful role model for girls[/b].[/quote]

NP here.  When I decided to SAH for a couple of years I told my kids (ES age) that I am doing it because I love them so much, and some things mean more than having extra money.  I told them that I wanted to be here for them when they come home from school, help with HW, give them healthy snacks, and hear about their day without being distracted by work (I was constantly checking email at home when I was a WOHM).  So, I hope that I am showing my kids, boy and girl, that being a caring parent is more important than having extra money, that my career satisfaction is not more important than they are -- I am being this kind of role model.  They have seen me work; they have been to my work.  They know that I can do both - be WOHM and SAHM.

I know for a lot of families a second income is not "extra" money, but a necessity.  We moved and down-graded our lifestyle so that I could provide these things to my kids while they are young and impressionable.  I now work PT. I'm so lucky to have found this.  But being a good role model to girls is more than just showing them that you can work and earn your own living.  It's also showing both boys and girls what is really important in life.  It's about balance.

WOHM are not necessarily great role models if they are too busy, tired, distracted to really listen to their kids and know what is going on in their lives.

I think it's sad that you see one parent "paying" another parent to be a parent to both their kids.   It's a marriage, family, not a corporation or law partnership.  How sad.[/quote]

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