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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "SAHMs, do you worry about your husband leaving you?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I have no idea for other people, but for me, yes, it is much easier. I have the same amount of help I had when I worked (well, a lot less childcare but more childcare so I can do things for myself). I cook a lot more, but I like that so it isn't a chore. I have all day to do the errands I used to do right after work or on weekends. We never have to figure out who can cover when the nanny is out sick or who is going to take the kids to their doctors appts. I no longer run around like a chicken with its head cut off. I have time to exercise and read. I have time to take cooking classes and volunteer for causes I care about. If a child is sick and needs picked up, I never panic about how I am never going to get my work done and sent to the client as promised. It certainly isn't for everyone and there can be drawbacks, but our lives are so much more calm. [/quote] Also, my husband doesn't mind being the sole breadwinner. We discussed this a lot, because it would stress me out a lot if I had that responsibility. But he said he doesn't think it is much different from when I worked. We have plenty of emergency savings/investments and he made multiples of what I made, so it would have been a big change if he lost his job whether I had my job or not. Obviously this is very specific to the couple. [/quote] I agree. When I was working (same hours like my DH) for a fraction of what he was making life was much harder for both of us. Now that I SAHM,[b] it is like he is paying me not to work so he has less of childcare duties. [/b] My DH is a very devoted dad and he likes to spend his weekends doing things with the kids as a family. At the same time,he really wants the kids to excel in school and extra-curricular activities - so he wanted me to be supervising the kids. I make sure that they were getting enrichment at home. they were participating in sports and EC activities, they are eating nutritious well balanced, delicious food, they have time to relax and socialize extensively with family and friends. When he is off work - he does not have to worry about how the kids are doing at school etc - because that is all taken care of. [/quote] You actually live in a partnership where you feel like your husband pays you to make his life easier? Just, wow. What a wonderful role model for girls.[/quote] Whatever... :roll: you can interpret it the way you want. My kids are doing well. My DH and I are doing well. I am thinking all the negativity comes from people who do not have the means to SAHM without making considerable financial sacrifices. Considering that I control the family finances and I have money of my own, I don't need my DH to pay me anything. But yes, he would gladly pay me not to work, so that the kids can have my support at all times. BTW - what I provide to the kids in terms of time and support - it would be extremely costly for him to replace me with an outside person who had my qualifications, to take care of the kids needs and what he wants for the kids, if he could find one in the first place. A SAHM with advanced degrees is not going to have the same interaction with her kids as a nanny with very basic education. In any case, this is my opinion and this is the situation that works for me. I do not know what your situation at home is and I do not even care to know. Obviously, you are feeling jealous so you are trying to diminish it to feel good about your own pathetic life. [/quote]
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