Reply to To WP: What Can Black People Do to Improve Race Relations in this Country?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would like to be judged less. [b]I feel like with AA women (rarely with men) that I am constantly being judged. My every word is being analyzed to see if I am racist. [/b] Did she buy that fried chicken for th team because we are black? Did she really just touch my child's head? Did she really just say "girlfriend" she would never do that with white chicks.

Stop telling me I don't understand, I know I don't understand anymore than I understand raising a girl (which I have also never done). I am sure there are things you don't understand, I don't point them out ever.

I feel like I am on egg shells].

I have many good friends that don't act that way and accept me for who I am.

But I feel like the interview process is tortuous.[/quote]

This sounds like it's more your issue than AA women. You need to work on being more secure in your decisions and less worried about what someone is thinking/saying.[b] In actuality, you have no idea if your perceptions are real or imagined.[/b] [/quote]

I think the PP's perceptions are real.   Definitely think that they have been "testing" her.    [/quote]

I think they are real because I will get a sanity check from my other AA Friends and they will confirm, oh she's really sensitive, you can not be real with her, etc.

Also, especially at work, they will go to somebody and "vouch" for me. She is one of the good ones don't be like that to her.

I am not a sensitive person. So for 20 year I have have said to myself, okay, I don't understand what they have had to go through and I am not going to scare off that easy. I think most people are just going to walk away from that situation.

We need to come together not push each other away. I care but I am getting old and have less energy.

But I know the right thing to do is to be companionate. [/quote]

Again, this sounds like an insecurity issue. Because of some issues with black folks at work, you have attributed this behavior to other blacks and wonder if they similarly question you. [/quote]

No I am saying all people act this way, I would never say all. If you,relate to this situation I ask that you give a person a break and not assume they are racist until they prove themselves otherwise. Don't be quick to read something into every awkward statement. You do not want to be judged based on your skin color. I do not want to be judged based on my skin color.[/quote]

Maybe it has nothing to do with your skin color and they just don't like you. Maybe you are a nice person really, or maybe you come off like a bitch. Or maybe they don't care either way and they are just there to get a paycheck and go home- not to join a happy sister social circle. Stop worrying about what people think and just do your job. [/quote]

Or what I am saying is valid, and you could learn something about race relations but are too close minded to do so. But I have faith that somebody read what I wrote, admitted to their self that they do it and will make an effort not to. Because I am an optimist.
[/quote]

Maybe you are right and maybe not. But you sound really insecure and you need to focus more on the work you are getting paid to do. They are not paying you to host a race relations summit. Just do your work and get that chip off of your shoulder. [/quote]

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