Reply to Is it normal for sibling not to tell you they are having a baby?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Come on, people. Anyone who says they would have responded gracefully to a sibling announcing their child’s birth with no prior notice, on a group text to boot, is just trying to needle the OP. Of course both the timing and method are unusual ways to have announced news of this magnitude to one’s sibling.

That said, OP, this is now your new niece or nephew. Be glad for the family, properly fawn over the new little one, and once the dust settles I’d have a one to one chat with my sibling explaining that you were hurt to have learned of the news this way, I’d emphasize their importance to me, and then I’d move on. [/quote]

Of course it's possible to respond gracefully to the initial announcement. Afterward, how you respond to the prior notice issue depends on the circumstances, which of course will take time to unpack. Just because you cannot fathom a graceful response in this situation does not mean everyone else is bound to your mindset.[/quote]

If I announced news of my new baby in a text (without any prior notice of a pregnancy or surrogacy or desire to adopt), I think every human in my life - sibling, parent, BFF - would respond with, “whachutalkinboutwillis.”[/quote]

What about after learning the news was real. Would you expect every human in your life to assume malice on your part, prior to them making an attempt to understand your decisions?  [/quote]

DP but if it were me, I'd start by explaining. I wouldn't just send a text and then get offended if they assumed it was a joke. I'd probably call and say "hey, this is going to sound crazy, I have huge news, I'm really sorry I couldn't tell you, but (I was on bedrest under a lot of stress/had prior losses/adopted/surrogate etc)... and now you're an aunt!" And then hopefully my sister and I would have a good cry together and she'd be thrilled. It's objectively unusual behavior to be on speaking terms with a sibling and not tell them of a pregnancy despite regular contact, so I'd want to soften the blow, not just send a text with a picture of me and my new baby and leave people confused.[/quote]

How is this helpful? You do not share any sibling history with the OP. It's not "objectively unusual" without fully knowing the dynamic.[/quote]

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