Reply to Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it.

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Reply to "Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it."

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents come from another country (China) but I grew up here and yet this tradition of women changing their names still rubs me wrong. I am really baffled that American women, even self professed feminists, do this without hesitation. You could argue a name is just a name. But also a name is intricately tied to your identity. It is harder to track down female friends because they end up assuming a totally different name mid life. There is sometimes confusion on the professional front as women have to change their bar or medical licenses and deal with clients/patient confusion.

I get that this is how it has been done here but I don't see how you can overcome the fact that the tradition comes from men owning women. I think if you are familiar with other cultures where women do not change their names, you can more clearly see how odd it is. Asian societies manage to figure out who the mothers of children are without the surnames being the same. It is really not that hard or insurmountable. [/quote]

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