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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s not unheard of and sorry, but sometimes it’s not preventable. This is why Belle Burden’s book is a bestseller. So many women can relate.

Also, I hope you fudged some of the identifying details about your friend. [/quote]

Belle Burden is whatever the opposite of hyper vigilant is and there were zillions of signs leading up to her husband leaving. [/quote] Perhaps there were signs. I didn't pay a lot of attention to them either. Addressing the state of my marriage was something I knew I needed to tackle but I wasn't quite ready. When I did finally address it because the red flags could no longer be ignored, mine said he wanted a divorce. He was caught, he panicked, he fled. Her and my lack of vigilance does not grant a blanket excuse for the subsequent behavior of our exes.[/quote]

And mine.  Long marriages go through ups and downs.  The downs were not dramatic.  We had been married for more than 2 decades and had successfully weathered some hard stuff.  Only in hindsight can I pick out a few red flags or signs, but still not many that would have caused suspicion.  I didn’t worry because I didn’t think there was any need to worry.  Will I ever trust like that again?  Nope.  Was I a fool?  Maybe.  You don’t think your husband is planning to leave when he’s still saying and doing all the normal things and nothing significant appears to have changed.  [/quote] The day before mine decided he wanted a divorce he texted me about going to a concert a few weeks later. I truly believe he just wanted to keep having his affair but when I said I knew what was going on he ran away. [/quote]
Immature and bad values: Easier to leave than be accountable and change.

He probably didn’t think anything through either- implications for assets, children, future holidays, house, retirement, wills.

No worries, some ex or new or lawyer woman can tell him what to do later. [/quote]

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