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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s not unheard of and sorry, but sometimes it’s not preventable. This is why Belle Burden’s book is a bestseller. So many women can relate.

Also, I hope you fudged some of the identifying details about your friend. [/quote]

Belle Burden is whatever the opposite of hyper vigilant is and there were zillions of signs leading up to her husband leaving. [/quote] Perhaps there were signs. I didn't pay a lot of attention to them either. Addressing the state of my marriage was something I knew I needed to tackle but I wasn't quite ready. When I did finally address it because the red flags could no longer be ignored, mine said he wanted a divorce. He was caught, he panicked, he fled. Her and my lack of vigilance does not grant a blanket excuse for the subsequent behavior of our exes.[/quote]

And mine.  Long marriages go through ups and downs.  The downs were not dramatic.  We had been married for more than 2 decades and had successfully weathered some hard stuff.  Only in hindsight can I pick out a few red flags or signs, but still not many that would have caused suspicion.  I didn’t worry because I didn’t think there was any need to worry.  Will I ever trust like that again?  Nope.  Was I a fool?  Maybe.

You don’t think your husband is planning to leave when he’s still saying and doing all the normal things and nothing significant appears to have changed.  [/quote]

Same. They’re not planning. They just hear something, decide, do it and never reflect.

My Ex wasn’t involved in running the house or developing the children so with more in my plate plus my career, getting through the day today by myself was a win. Meanwhile he was only doing stuff for himself or his work. Refused to get involved. Argue that he was busy. Would however show up at parties or vacations and post photos.

Then one day he woke up, and as a selfish hypocrit, said he deserves attention and love, and left. The girls were older then and saw through that. [/quote]

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