Reply to Former Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does anyone know what Fairfax childhood was like?  He seemed like he just was totally incapable of dealing with any set back—-if he wasn’t on a rocket ship to success, he was just going to spiral into animosity and aggression.  Another person might have picked up and found a low profile way to at least put bread on the table but clearly he couldn’t stoop to that. I’m just wondering what kind of a background he came from (before Duke).  [/quote]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justin_Fairfax

He graduated from DeMatha where he was Class President.

I suspect the alcoholism contributed to his spiral. Alcohol is a known depressant.[/quote]

OMG HE WAS AN ABUSER!  that is a choice.  He threatened suicide before to get sympathy.  He could no longer control or have power over his wife SO HE KILLED HER.  Depression has absolutely nothing to do with it.  Abusers know how to manipulate everyone into feeling sorry for them and giving them slack for their evil behavior.  [/quote]

These sort of comments come up all the time, but in reality there is no fixed line separating "bad abusers" and "good/normal people suffering from depression." I think it's pretty clear (from her court filings) that he fell into a spiral of deep depression and alcoholism that turned him into a parasitic hermit with no interest in anything other than drinking and smoking. Obviously there were MANY bad choices he made along that road, such as refusing to/failing to get proper help, but the idea that this was all part of some master plan is going too far. [/quote]

And you say this as someone that has been with an abuser or works with abusers....?

This is EXACTLY why women under report abuse.

My ex attempted to kill all of us by driving out car into telephone poles on the way home. When I told him I was going to a hotel with our child that night he ran around and got our child out of the car seat before I could get in the drivers seat and drive away. He then held our child to bait me into the doorway where he proceeded to hit us both with the door. I took the blows as long as I could but I could not reach my child in his arms.

I was bruised head to toe and my child got a head injury.

Every single person that knew us as a couple walked away. Someone, a woman I thought was my friend, also turned on me telling me I would ruin his life. One of his female friends helped him come up with a plausible story to tell court. I used those messages as evidence that git him to not fight the conviction.

Only my young male neighbor that witnessed the after math showed up for court. The other neighbor, 80 year old woman, told me it happens to all women. No big deal.

Do you think that was the first day he abused me? Absolutely not. I was being terrorized for years. Pretty much from the moment he met me. I had an exit plan that I had been working on for about 1.5 years when he finally did that to us.

His punishment? Nothing. He was convicted, that was expunged and voluntarily gave up 50/50 custody.

I lived in fear for years. He terrorized both of us for years after that. I don't think you understand the depth of an abuser. Keep in mind, I wasn't killed (yet?). [/quote]

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