Reply to If you don't want sex, then shouldn't YOU be the one to leave and divorce?

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Reply to "If you don't want sex, then shouldn't YOU be the one to leave and divorce?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It doesn’t matter whether quitting sex is reasonable, justified, the other spouse’s fault, etc. Either way the ethical options available to you are the same. Live with it, open the marriage, or divorce. [/quote]

Divorce is not ethical when there are children involved. It is highly unethical [/quote]

If you believe this, you shouldn't have married for sex. If you married for children, masturbating will not kill you. You did when you were single. You would do it If your spouse were incapacitated. You can do If you have no idea what is going on with them that they don't enjoy sex anymore. But you choose to cheat because you married for sex and want to weaponize the children. [/quote]

I have no idea what you’re going on about, but I’ll repeat - sex incompatibility alone is not a reason to divorce if kids are involved. People need to act like grown ups and suck up the pact they made when they married that they double and triple downed on when they brought in others. Sex is a physical need and also highly personal and invasive. If there is a disconnect for a time, figure it out. You will be married for 50 years. Figure it out! I’m female in perimenopause and in the ‘no sex’ camp right now and I believe 3 things can be true- I’ll try to put out more to make my dh happy. 2. He should masturbate more. And 3. If he stepped out briefly, ok so be it.

Marriage is a marathon. I’m not making decisions that affect my children, family etc over what is likely to be a short lived issue in the grand scheme of things. [/quote]

Did you tell him that if he steps out briefly, you will be okay with it? If you did not you are effectively enabling your husband to learn how to lie to you about where he is, who he is with, and whether he needs to be tested if you one day decide to be intimate again. These lying and deceiving habits tend to extend beyond one affair.

If you did tell him, I agree with your view of marriage. Otherwise, it's a short lived issue until he impregnates another woman or gives you an STD. I bet you Melinda thought Bill's affairs where short-lived issues until he went to Epstein.[/quote]

I can tell my dh whatever I choose to tell him. You can’t control that or decide that. You understand that, right? Seems like you don’t.

You also seem obsessed with STDs. It’s a weird focus given we are discussing couples not having regular sex. You clearly have some personal axe to grind on the topic of being cheated on, and can’t separate it in a way that allows you to have a mature, intelligent discussion

Maybe time for therapy. The grownups can talk now [/quote]

Nice to see you dodged the question on whether your "marathon" is built on honesty, but you chose to respond anyway. Do you feel compelled to continue the discussion as you feel compelled to continue your "marathon" marriage even if you have to lie and sneak around like a bunch of starved children? Lol. You sure can tell your poor DH whatever. I can imagine him feeling guilty and sneaking around like a dog when his wife could have told him it's okay. Talk about a marathon. Yikes!

STDs are real, honey. I have never had one, thank goodness. Go read up on them. It's ironic that you think you are an adult but you think speculating on whether someone has had an STD is an insult or closing argument. Even teenagers don't joke about STDs. You are childish.[/quote]

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