Reply to If you don't want sex, then shouldn't YOU be the one to leave and divorce?

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Reply to "If you don't want sex, then shouldn't YOU be the one to leave and divorce?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It doesn’t matter whether quitting sex is reasonable, justified, the other spouse’s fault, etc. Either way the ethical options available to you are the same. Live with it, open the marriage, or divorce. [/quote]

Divorce is not ethical when there are children involved. It is highly unethical [/quote]

If you believe this, you shouldn't have married for sex. If you married for children, masturbating will not kill you. You did when you were single. You would do it If your spouse were incapacitated. You can do If you have no idea what is going on with them that they don't enjoy sex anymore. But you choose to cheat because you married for sex and want to weaponize the children. [/quote]

I have no idea what you’re going on about, but I’ll repeat - sex incompatibility alone is not a reason to divorce if kids are involved. People need to act like grown ups and suck up the pact they made when they married that they double and triple downed on when they brought in others. Sex is a physical need and also highly personal and invasive. If there is a disconnect for a time, figure it out. You will be married for 50 years. Figure it out! I’m female in perimenopause and in the ‘no sex’ camp right now and I believe 3 things can be true- I’ll try to put out more to make my dh happy. 2. He should masturbate more. And 3. If he stepped out briefly, ok so be it.

Marriage is a marathon. I’m not making decisions that affect my children, family etc over what is likely to be a short lived issue in the grand scheme of things. [/quote]

Fully endorse this statement. The people trying to make this some epic battle between "no sex" people and "sex" people are doing a really good job of illustrating the many ways that the problems in their marriage have nothing to do with sex, but with communication, respect, problem solving skills, empathy, and in many cases, logic.

When you view your own dissatisfaction with your sex life as something your partner is doing *to* you, instead of just a problem you are BOTH dealing with and must find a way to resolve together, you will poison your marriage. No one is saying that a person who wants to have sex should be forced into lifetime celibacy. We're saying that if sex is an issue, talk about it, keep some humor and empathy, and see if you can work out something that works for you both. Consider that your partner's happiness is just as important as yours, and really consider what it means to be in the position of feeling like sex is just not something you can consent to at this point in your life. [/quote]

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