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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Declining the invitation is fine. Wheedling about the baby is not.

No rational mother would want to take a 3mo to a group event anyway, especially at the tail end of cold/flu/COVID season.

Decline, that is absolutely fine. But making this such a production and whining and wheedling and running to the Internet is beyond stupid.

And yes, I breastfed two babies, and had bottle refusal with the first. Even with bottle refusal, I would have stopped by my brother’s local wedding reception for an hour or two while DH tried a bottle at home. It would have been a worthwhile opportunity for bottle practice, and if it didn’t work, I’d just feed when I got home. [/quote]

I bet if I showed up for an hour or two it would unfortunately cause more drama. She likely wouldn't be able to attend the dinner and then there would be whining about how rude she was leaving early.

Just skip both events. [/quote]

OK? If someone whined at me in a situation like that, I would say, “Yes, sorry, must get back to the baby. Lovely to see you all, and congratulations, Jim and Beth!” Then leave. If people whine or pout, so what? So freaking what? Then what, you’ll explode or drop dead if someone pouts at you? Or the world will keep turning and you’ll just carry on with your day. It’s one of those two things, PP. [/quote]

Main character syndrome. Is OP actually fantasizing that if she went for an hour people would be begging her to stay? Which people? Neither the B&G or groom’s parents care. Who are the other guests? Presumably the couple’s friends and perhaps bride parents? Why would they be there to see OP? It’s only 15 people. OP isn’t that special.[/quote]

See, that's why she shouldn't leave though.  Leaving before the event is over DOES make it all about her and takes the attention away from the brother which would be very hurtful.  Like another hour away from the baby is more important than celebrating her brother's special day?  Come on.  OP needs to suck it up and stick it out or decline.[/quote]

Honestly, are you OK? If a mother of a 3mo baby needs to leave to go take care of her baby and breastfeed her baby, that is 100% understandable and acceptable. If someone thinks that it is unreasonable or disruptive, that’s their problem.

Besides, this event is extremely low-key, a courthouse wedding followed by a small dinner. That is an intimate setting with family who understand there is a baby at home.

Anyone “hurt” by that should have been flexible with inviting OP’s whole family so they could be with her and she could breastfeed at the restaurant. [/quote]

Op asked if there was flexibility and didn't get an answer. I would expect an understanding family would have at minimum responded "no and we understand if you can't make the whole event."

The fact they didn't makes me wonder what kind of response op would get if she ducks out early. [/quote]

You mean OP didn’t get an answer they liked bc this is what she said: [b]They said "oh actually kids aren't invited, please find an arrangement for them". [/b]

Why are you saying there was no response? You completely misread the OP or are just making it up as you go.[/quote]

That's a good catch. Based on that message they expect OP to come no matter what and will likely make a big deal if op politely declines.

Op lost the family lottery.[/quote]
+1
Also, to all of those chiming in to report how you bottle fed, or pumped, or left your newborn, fine. You raise your baby the way you decide. It doesn’t make it an ok choice for OP. She doesn’t have to do what you did.[/quote]

We get that OP won’t be told what to do. Clearly she’s going to crash this wedding with her uninvited kids.[/quote]
The bridezilla contingent in here is nuts. I don’t think OP has given any indication that she wants to or would do that. Her brother doesn’t care and her parents probably just want to make a show for the in laws. [/quote]

The creative writers have imagined some bizarre scenario where everyone will freak out if OP doesn’t come. Based on what exactly?[/quote]

+1 They are so obviously projecting their hysteria.

There is no reason to assume the wedding couple is unhinged; this thread gives us many reasons to believe the opposite. [/quote]
I mean the wedding couple is telling her to “make arrangements” and mom and dad are pressuring OP. It may not be unhinged but it’s presumptuous and inconsiderate. You don’t order anyone to appear, much less the mother of a newborn. They should have just told OP that her children were not invited and they would understand if she couldn’t be there. OP’s only mistake was engaging with her parents about it. She should have just declined and sent a lovely gift.[/quote]

This is possible depending on the context of that conversation.

This said, we are ignoring OPs larger problem

"[u]I'm probably more disappointed [/u]my parents are going along with brother excluding his niece and nephew from both events."

What?

What business is it of OPs that children who are not hers are not invited? Here she's deciding for other family members that niece and nephew exclusion is a problem. I'm open to the idea they are intentionally trying to exclude her, and I could potentially understand why.[/quote]
I see what you’re saying but I think OP said her kids are the only nieces/nephews.[/quote]

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