Reply to Not inviting kids.

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Not inviting kids."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Declining the invitation is fine. Wheedling about the baby is not.

No rational mother would want to take a 3mo to a group event anyway, especially at the tail end of cold/flu/COVID season.

Decline, that is absolutely fine. But making this such a production and whining and wheedling and running to the Internet is beyond stupid.

And yes, I breastfed two babies, and had bottle refusal with the first. Even with bottle refusal, I would have stopped by my brother’s local wedding reception for an hour or two while DH tried a bottle at home. It would have been a worthwhile opportunity for bottle practice, and if it didn’t work, I’d just feed when I got home. [/quote]

I bet if I showed up for an hour or two it would unfortunately cause more drama. She likely wouldn't be able to attend the dinner and then there would be whining about how rude she was leaving early.

Just skip both events. [/quote]

OK? If someone whined at me in a situation like that, I would say, “Yes, sorry, must get back to the baby. Lovely to see you all, and congratulations, Jim and Beth!” Then leave. If people whine or pout, so what? So freaking what? Then what, you’ll explode or drop dead if someone pouts at you? Or the world will keep turning and you’ll just carry on with your day. It’s one of those two things, PP. [/quote]

Main character syndrome. Is OP actually fantasizing that if she went for an hour people would be begging her to stay? Which people? Neither the B&G or groom’s parents care. Who are the other guests? Presumably the couple’s friends and perhaps bride parents? Why would they be there to see OP? It’s only 15 people. OP isn’t that special.[/quote]

See, that's why she shouldn't leave though.  Leaving before the event is over DOES make it all about her and takes the attention away from the brother which would be very hurtful.  Like another hour away from the baby is more important than celebrating her brother's special day?  Come on.  OP needs to suck it up and stick it out or decline.[/quote]

Honestly, are you OK? If a mother of a 3mo baby needs to leave to go take care of her baby and breastfeed her baby, that is 100% understandable and acceptable. If someone thinks that it is unreasonable or disruptive, that’s their problem.

Besides, this event is extremely low-key, a courthouse wedding followed by a small dinner. That is an intimate setting with family who understand there is a baby at home.

Anyone “hurt” by that should have been flexible with inviting OP’s whole family so they could be with her and she could breastfeed at the restaurant. [/quote]

Op asked if there was flexibility and didn't get an answer. I would expect an understanding family would have at minimum responded "no and we understand if you can't make the whole event."

The fact they didn't makes me wonder what kind of response op would get if she ducks out early. [/quote]

You mean OP didn’t get an answer they liked bc this is what she said: [b]They said "oh actually kids aren't invited, please find an arrangement for them". [/b]

Why are you saying there was no response? You completely misread the OP or are just making it up as you go.[/quote]

That's a good catch. Based on that message they expect OP to come no matter what and will likely make a big deal if op politely declines. [/quote]

They aren't making a big deal if people decline due to the destination. [b]They would not make a big deal for parents declining due to children. [/b]

Don't create non-existent drama.

[quote]Op lost the family lottery.[/quote]

Because a couple is planning the wedding they want and paying for it?

Yeah. Sure. Maybe they should pay for OPs lifetime of therapy to cope with her losing the family lottery. [/quote]

Please show where they said that. They said find arrangements for them. Not "we understand of you can't make it"or "we hope you can come for at least part of it."

Very clear they expect OP to be there. [/quote]

It's implied. It's only drama if you are a person inclined to create drama, like a parent thinking a child-free wedding is an act of hostility directed at them personally - like many posters here.  
[/quote]

We don’t even have the full conversation. You’re fully invested in OPs situation which is probably leaving out a lot of details. [/quote]

We have OPs details that she feels targeted by a general exclusion of children that includes her but isn't targeting her personally.

OP is perhaps the best indication that her close family member is also a drama loon. Other than that, we have no indication based on the common type of wedding they are celebrating. They only thing drama about the brother is his sister.[/quote]

OP peaced out of this conversation a long time ago. People have spent more time arguing about her brother’s wedding than she would ever even spend at the wedding if she bothered to make an appearance and wish the marrying couple well.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics