Reply to Any other women quiet quitting your marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did anyone experience marrying someone who became a real nag? (I keep hearing about women having to chase men to do chores but opposite problem here; you can't feel comfortable in your own home unless it's how they want it.) Wish they could be more laid back as I grew up in a comfortable, clean house where we had this little word called fun and it seems the opposite of what I hear. [/quote]

[b]My husband is a combo of this and OP’s husband.  He has high standards and is upset if they aren’t met, but he doesn’t feel that he needs to do any of it himself.  [/b]
I did hire a lot of help when the kids were little.  I had a babysitter when I was working plus a husband and wife team that did all of the housework, cooking, and yard work.  It saved our marriage, but I’m not sure if it was the right thing to do.  It really covered up a lot of issues.  [/quote]

What was your DH’s childhood and cultural background like that he grew up expecting this?![/quote]

He grew up middle class in the Midwest.  His family didn’t really have things together.  His dad was an alcoholic.

I think that [b]he just believed that if he did the right things, studied hard and did well in school, got a good job, that he would have his life together at home.  [/b]

Like he felt that if he had a good job and he got married and had kids and mortgage and a golden retriever, then there would be a clean house and dinner on the table every night at six.  It didn’t really occur to him that the only way for there to be dinner on the table every night at six is for someone to go out and buy the ingredients and to cook a meal and set it on the table.  
It’s not that he thought that I should be doing all of this stuff.  He believed in this dream for me too.  Like that I could work and come home to a clean house and a homecooked meal at six.  
It just didn’t really occur to him that someone has to clean the house and do the shopping and cooking and that it’s really kind of a lot of work.  [/quote]

Agree. 
Many males have this naive, ignorant take on married life because their mothers and fathers never taught them or showed them actual life skills. Or communication skills. or problem solving skills. At the dinner table, on the weekends, during parental discussions.

And they apparently cannot figure things out.

Layer in a dose of misogyny, entitlement and believing Good Grades = Life Success and you have the deadweight husband and father. 
[/quote]

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