Reply to 19 year gap - Will everything be okay?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What kind of family and friends do you all have that [b]everyone 65 plus is an invalid requiring full time caregiving[/b]?

I don't know any 65 year olds who are dependent on their spouse and unable to care for themselves.

Lots of ageism in this thread![/quote]

Nobody on this thread suggested anything like the bolded, which is a stupid overgeneralization. But there's a big biological shift that happens around age 60 that makes people more susceptible to a variety of chronic and acute diseases which could require significant care, the likelihood of which progressively increases from there. These include metabolic syndrome, cardiovascular issues, kidney disease, and a susceptibility to flu or other viral illnesses that could result in long term health issues. And of course, there are cancers and dementia risks. This is also the age when genetic predispositions and habits really affect quality of life.

Not that my anecdote or yours matter much, but FWIW, my aunt is only 10 years younger than my uncle, and she has been a caregiver for both him and her 90 year old mother (who both live with her) for over a decade now. It has taken a big toll on her own health, and she looks mid-70s instead of 62. This is such a common scenario that it's not really noteworthy.

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2024/08/massive-biomolecular-shifts-occur-in-our-40s-and-60s--stanford-m.html[/quote]

Multiple posters have said that these younger wives will be caregivers by the time their spouses are in their 60s. I will look into more research but where I live, many people work past 60. Many are still active and independent. I was responding to the posts that people by their 60s will be dependent on these younger wives for caregiving - as I just don't see that at all in society. It is an ageist view to see anyone over 60 as a helpless person in need of caregiving because they are clearly so old that they can't do anything  by themselves and their wives will need to do all their care. Maybe I live in a healthy area compared to most but I don't see those in their 60s needing caregivers just by virtue of their age.[/quote]

No, people in their 60s don't normally need caregivers and do tend to work until 65-70. Thing is, you start to age rapidly around 60 and that looks different for everyone.

You could be 40 with kids and your 60 year old dh has limited energy, for example. My older dad used to sleep while "watching" football most of the weekend while resting to go back to work on Monday.

By the time you are 50, your dh will be 70. If you are ok with, and dealing with his first family for all.of your married life, then go for it OP.

If I was in my late 20s,.did not already have kids or a divorce, and not desperate, I would try dating guys my own age and in their 30s, and not have to deal with their first family etc...[/quote]

As a late 40s woman who dated couple very energetic (for their age) late 50s and early 60s men, the slow down is noticeable. Men like peace, stay  back home, kids irritate them, they don’t bike, ski etc. I’m energetic so late 50s feels old even for me. Even the men who are very healthy and fit [/quote]
You do not seem to realize that an "energetic" late 50s year old has no clue what an energetic 20-year-old is like?? Your idea of energetic might be slow as hell to a 20-year-old.[/quote]

Yes, I do realize it. Which is why I don’t date 27 yo men at my 47. And young men are better than young women in a sense that there are fewer gold diggers among them in that age group . So my money likely won’t help me to buy the 27 yo men I’m attracted to, leaving alone marry one. 
I’m just realistic. I think some young modern women are not particular ethical or picky  in their quest to marry rich. All these sugar babies with good corporate jobs who would open legs for a better purse. Yakis.

Maybe women like OP do need to learn from their life mistakes. [/quote]

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