Reply to Awaiting ED decisions — how are you feeling?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Too much stress. I’ve done this ED nonsense with 2 kids now.

I’m handling child number three completely differently.  Not building up the process of finding a dream school.  We will be very much downplaying the importance of finding some elusive perfect fit for her.  Just find a couple options that are doable for her where she’ll be happy and not reach for some brass ring. [/quote]

This is the way. We made a point of hyping target schools not reaches, and pointing out pros and cons of all of them. Does a kid zero favors to promote the idea of a dream school (which is silly anyway).[/quote]

You can do this and also utilize ED, assuming you do have a preference. Having a preference is not the same as a “dream school.” DD applied ED to UVA. Already has an admit to Delaware and Pitt. Also applied to VT and W&M. If she gets into UVA great, but if not she will have some great other choices. [/quote]

The dream school thing is something that just sort of happened to my first two kids.  They each got fixated on a specific school and that became a motivator for them, so over the next 18 months it took on a life of its own.  Both schools were unique in location so it wasn’t easy to see a door number 2 that wasn’t a disappointment.  We let it happen because it gave them the ability to set a long term goal, dream and go for it.

I’m not falling for it again. It’s a lottery ticket and all the planning in the world won’t necessarily get you there.

It worked out for us.  But it’s just a word of caution to parents out there when trying to manage a teenager.  For my third child we are taking a different approach and I think she will be happier for it.  [/quote]

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