Reply to SIL plotted to inherit estates from childless aunts

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are in our sixties, recently lost parents on both sides of the family and my DH and I are still reeling from some of the behavior we have observed by siblings and a catty SIL. It’s disheartening to realize that we had siblings who were nice to our faces while manipulating our parents in one case to leave a business to only one sibling. Discouraging to realize that our parents were dishonest with us while they were alive and saddened to realize that ultimately one brother is more interested in hitting the jackpot than in having a relationship with siblings, nieces, nephews, etc. (someone who at the funeral told his siblings they could only talk to him through his lawyer.) it’s sad as the holidays approach to realize that due to inheritance dramas we are unlikely to ever have a big family Christmas ever again. And it sounds a bit silly but we are wondering who exactly to invite to our son’s weddings. [/quote]

This

My husband’s last survivor grandmother died and it quickly became apparent that one divorced and single retired uncle was siphoning off money from her bank account for years— Mercedes for himself, his son (my husbands 1st cousin), doing laundry there by the mom’s nurse and eating there too daily.

My FIL spent all of winter break on the phone with his other brother and the one who had took a ton of money. They tried to get that third cut back as that uncle already spent an equivalent amount down. I recall my FIL asking my husband to call his cousin and ask for the amount of the new car grandma bought him.

Now no one talks to that uncle or invites him to things. Likewise when the cousin got married we just sent a card and check.

I think the only healthy way through it is to have a family sit down with one of those mediators. Find a path forward. Otherwise the relationships stay severely damaged. [/quote]

You’re both discussing the relationships (and estate transfer) between parents and their children, which is different than the relationship between aunts/uncles and nieces/nephews.

Less than 1/3 of adults have wills prepared, but it’s especially important for those without children to do so. Not to thwart relatives like OP—who may not even be next of kin—but to ensure there is money and care available for when one can no longer care for themselves.

OP’s aunts appear to be of sound mind, and savvy about what the future might bring, including sadly, negligible assistance from OP. Good for them. [/quote]

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