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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP. Last weekend, the other mother (the one who hosted the playdate where my child was not included) extended a playdate invitation to my DD and another girl -- not my DD's best friend. I thought it would be healthy and good for my child to go and make new friends, and we appreciated the invite after the other exclusion or so I perceived, I understand not everyone thinks it was exclusion. Everyone had fun or so I thought, and I thanked the mom and made plans to have her daughter over next week.
Yesterday, my DD came home upset after overhearing several girls talk about this girl's upcoming birthday party at recess. My DD was not invited. I am unclear why my child would have a playdate at her house and not be invited to her party, and now she is hearing about it on the playground from other girls, a spa morning and lunch. 
She has a playdate scheduled with the girl but now feels that it is hollow since she's not going to her party and they clearly are not going to be friends.
I am wondering if I should just cancel the upcoming playdate and write this girl off as not a real friend and encourage my child to look elsewhere. It is causing her a lot of sadness and she is wondering why she is not good enough to be invited. 
[/quote]

IMO cancel the playdate nicely say something came up, you are really sorry, you will try to reschedule in the future and then let this mom and the friendship go. Don't engage when your DD brings it up, just say something neutral. Encourage your DD to invite another friend over for playdates, maybe one she has only recently started playing with, and help her move on from this one friendship.

Step back and consider if your DD is becoming hyper fixated. Some kids do when they are young ,they hyper fixate on one friend. It's a developmental phase and it eventually ends. Many, many kids at that age are not good with odd number groups, especially groups of 3 girls. Someone always feels like they are left out. Kids that age don't have the social skills to be attuned to keeping everyone included and it's not a flaw or something they can fix. Again it's developmental and it for almost all kids, they do develop this skill in the coming years.[/quote]

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