Reply to To my husband’s work AP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love how the cheaters/aps always out themselves in the comments. It’s fine if you wouldn’t tell anyone that your husband and his coworker are banging, but trying to dissuade other women from telling the truth? Disgusting and truly nasty. [/quote]

Eh, it’s not about not telling the truth. If she had come on here and said that was her purpose I think she wouldn’t have gotten pushback. Her purpose is clearly revenge. Ruining the other woman’s life. Etc.

Sorry, but you don’t have that kind of power! So you tell him. You have no idea what’s going to happen after that. Maybe they reconcile. Maybe it helps them fix their marriage to see how far it’s gone. Or maybe it pushes your DH and his AP closer together.

You just don’t control other people’s lives. And frankly, living from that place instead of trying to get your life together is just not healthy. What does OP need to do to heal? [/quote]
Who are you to tell someone else what is ‘healthy’ in handling this kind of betrayal? Maybe it’s not healthy for you, maybe it’s totally healthy for others. Maybe getting everything out in the open IS the healthier way, rather than rug sweeping or bottling it up for the sake of random internet people judging 🙄[/quote]

Boundaries are healthy. Yes, it’s her right to inform him if that’s what she chooses. It’s her right to tell her truth.

But she oversteps when she talks about ruining someone else’s life, marriage, and career. That kind of talk is frankly abusive and shows a misunderstanding of what her own responsibility is in this. She has been hurt and her main responsibility is to address her own hurt. Sorry, but you can’t do that by hurting or trying to control someone else. That is codependency.

She is upset that her trust was misplaced and the plans she had can’t be realized. This is grief. [/quote]

[b]Victims can do whatever they need to heal. Period. [/b] If they want to tell, you can’t stop them.  Period.  You can’t expect people you harm to help hide your dirty deeds and secrets.  Why should they? And why should you get to sleep soundly at night with no consequences when another woman’s life has been destroyed partly by you?  You can have countless sleepless nights and torment, hey, at least it was your own will that caused them unlike the unsuspecting spouse.[/quote]

Murder?[/quote]

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