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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] But people don’t really care about this. If I preferred the husband to the wife, that’s who I’d remain friends with.[/quote]

Don’t assume other people are like you. Most people have a moral compass.

Also, if someone is cheating and lying to their spouse/family, this behavior is showing up elsewhere in their life. Why would you want to be friends with someone who is known to lie and manipulate for their own benefit? Doesn’t sound like someone trustworthy.[/quote]

+1 I have a longstanding friend group and one of the guys dated and married a girl that we all became friends with. He later cheated on her in a particularly awful way and she is the one to this day who gets invited to group get togethers. Some of the guys do still see him for smaller events and run in some of the professional circles. But watching someone behave horribly toward someone you care about and consider a friend will totally change your feelings about that person. I knew this guy for years long than the now ex, but my view of him majorly changed after this fall out.

And FWIW, my friend (the ex) handled things so well. She spoke matter of factly about things, but did not go on a smear campaign. His bad behavior spoke for itself. I 100% understand OP’s vendetta and am not even against the idea of telling the AP’s husband/letting the chips fall where they will. But I think she should sit on this/maybe even talk to a therapist first. Get ducks in a row financially/find new living arrangements if necessary. Have the escape hatch planned first. Also think about how she’ll want friends and acquaintances to look back on her behavior for years to come. Don’t put anything in writing (like email to the AP’s husband). Don’t leave any trail that could make her look bad, she needs to play the 100% innocent party here.[/quote]

I think she will. I think she’s venting now, likely because you can’t tell anyone IRL when you aren’t sure what you will do and you don’t want it getting back to kids.  I have every faith she will methodically roll out this master plan. [/quote]

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