Reply to How to get through to DH that doing 80% doesn't count?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Could this not have been solved by saying "thanks for doing the laundry, sweetheart, but it stresses me out to have it sitting there staring at me waiting to be folded -- I really prefer to save it until there's time to do the whole job." then he can say "okay, would it be better to put it out of sight?" or "okay, next time I'll do one load and fold it instead of doing four loads" or "okay, next time I'll leave it for you to handle on the weekend."[/quote]

I'm the PP you are talking about and I literally had two very cordial conversations with my DH about it. First as he was starting a third load of laundry while the first two went unfolded and I suggested waiting until he could get through the first two. He disregarded and said "it won't take that long to fold." And then later after the laundry was sitting in a heap for a day I told him that I really prefer to only go as much laundry as we can reasonably fold and put away same day because it's inconvenient to give up space in our small home to so much laundry, and that's when he told me "you're bring too hard on yourself, I think just getting the laundry going is dn accomplishment."

Part of the issue here is that once he tosses the laundry onto the chair he truly just doesn't seem to see it or be bothered by it whereas to me it becomes a a big neon "YOU HAVE WORK TO DO" sign. Plus I just feel claustrophobic with the mess in our living space. Maybe if we had a separate laundry roomor the clothes were in a basket in hallway and not in an armchair it wouldn't bug me as much. But we don't have space for that.[/quote]

So what did he say when you told him that? Because honestly, you both have very reasonable points. For some tasks, I prefer to do them in fits and starts over the course of several days when I have time to do a little bit, and for others, seeing them half finished will drive me insane. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, it’s just my personal preference. Which obviously my husband should respect because he respects me, but there’s no way for him to know which kind of task is which unless I tell him. And for me, laundry is the second kind, I do think getting everything washed is an accomplishment! [/quote]

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