Reply to Napping on vacation when you have kids?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Napping on vacation when you have kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP sounds very type A. OPs dh less so. I'd be surprised if the kids actually enjoy non-stop activities, especially with their parents. [/quote]

Well, he doesn't nap when the activity interests him. So, I don't think the problem is that it's "non-stop activities", it's just activities he doesn't care about.[/quote]

Their job is to plan vacations that work for everyone. Sounds like both parents are failing.

Anybody in the family should be able to opt out some - not all -activities they don't care about.  They aren't conjoined quadruplets. [/quote]

Well... parents don't get to opt out. They're stuck with the job. [/quote][/quote]

I don't disagree with that. [b]Mom and kids think they're getting fun active vacations, Dad thinks he's taking naps[/b].

I mean, none of my family vacations go the way I want them to. But, you know, that's what I signed up for. :([/quote]

There is a way to accommodate both, but neither parent seems to want to do that.  OP wants 24/7 go-go-go togetherness and DH wants a daily nap on a rigid schedule.  [/quote]

Well, we don't know that OP wants 24/7 go-go-go togetherness, but we do know that there are important things she plans for midday at least some of the time. DH has that rigid schedule. It seems easier for one to compromise than the other. [/quote]
We do know that's what OP wants, because that's what OP says. Why can't both parties compromise? [/quote]

Well, she says that he demands his nap every day and it has to be 2+ hours. She could be just asking for one day of activity. The [b]only thing we know is that he has a rigid schedule for the activity that involves only himself and it can't be adjusted.[/b][/quote]
Again, it literally does not say this, you are assuming and projecting. [/quote]

Well it does, and if you won't read the OP's posts, I don't think we can have a conversation about this.[/quote]
No, it doesnt. I have read the entire thread. You keep twisting what OP wrote to fit your man-hating narrative. It's tired - much like Ops DH probably feels while dealing with her. [/quote]

Goodness. The OP starts off by saying:

[b]It’s never a quick cat nap, it’s a two-hour long event. Whenever we go on vacation, he expects and anticipates napping mid-day[/b]

He expects and anticipates a two-hour long event. Every day. Mid-day. No compromise. [/quote]
"and if we don’t head back to the hotel, he slogs between 4-dinner time."
You missed the words right after. If they miss the nap, he still lives, he just "slogs". So clearly they do skip it sometimes. Compromise. [/quote]

But then she added:

[b]This is a two-hour nap every day or he’s crabby like a toddler.[/b]

Doesn't sound like he's very kind about it. [/quote]
So? You want him to skip his nap and he will, he is just crabby. You have options, you just only want the option you want - him to skip his nap and somehow be kind, well rested and ready for the rest of the day. [/quote]

He's a grown man. He can go without a nap. If he can't, he should get checked for apnea.[/quote]
And, per the OP, he does sometimes.

So whats the problem?[/quote]

If your interpretation of the OP is that he's often there for the and spends plenty of quality time with his kids on vacation, then I guess there's no problem and your work is done here.[/quote]
I mean, he is there for most of the time. That's factual. Two hours a day does not mean he's spending more time alone than with his family. OP would prefer to spend [i]more[/i] time together, which I think can be reasonable, but let's not pretend he's abandoning his children for the entire week or something. He's probably spending far more time with then even with the nap than he is at home. [/quote]

It doesn’t seem terribly hard to grasp that the op’s problem isn’t about the hours he’s putting in, it’s about his availability at a particular time, and the limiting effect it has on his ability to join the children (who apparently want him there) for specific activities. I think she says he’s generally present, so no worries about his hours. [/quote]
If it isn't terribly hard to grasp that it isn't part of the problem, why does OP opine about it in the OP? It also seems like after 13 years, OP should know her hubby is a cranky pants and to schedule vacations accordingly. I know my DH cant handle too long in the heat. There is a reason why I'm not scheduling an August trip to Palm Springs, even if that's the cheapest time to visit. [/quote]

Some guys just aren’t cut out to spend time with their kids. She’s been married to him this long she should have a read on him by now. [/quote]

This. My DH can’t handle spending long periods with all of our kids at the same time. Is better for short periods or 1-on-1. Has always been this way. It is in some ways sad, yes, and I do wish things were different. Yet, I live in reality. Some things just won’t work, and dealing with cranky DH is no fun for any of the rest of us. If he comes along, we make sure to get enough living space and I don’t make any assumptions about when he will or won’t join us for activities. Sometimes we vacation separately.

Which is worse than OP’s problem, most likely. OP- just plan things the way you like, and he can join or not. Before solidifying plans, ask if there is anything in particular he would like to do (besides nap) and work those into the schedule first. Your DH isn’t going to change. [/quote]

Well, you don't sound unreasonable. I guess the OP should start explianing to the kids that sometimes, Dad just isn't interested. And that's okay. He's still Dad. [/quote]

FWIW kids don’t need this explained. They know dad isn’t interested. Better to say nothing about it. [/quote]

Kids will try longer than wives will. They think they can make dad love them. Don’t tell them he doesn’t, but explaining dad doesn’t want to SUP, but you see him at breakfast… I mean sugarcoat it somehow. [/quote]

You are very dramatic, Ms. Fiction Writer.  But all told, i am so glad that you are shining the light on the poor emotionally impoverished children of DCUM whose fathers won’t SUP with them in the middle of the day! [/quote]

And I’m glad you’re standing up for all those dads who just want to send money to the OnlyFans model instead of spending time with his kids. Not many people would side with that guy - it’s nice to know he’s got someone pulling for him. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics