Reply to My wife thinks I need to see a therapist, I think I'm aware of my problems

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP none of us can explain to you why your wife is insisting on therapy; personally, I have a hard time imagining she is pushing this hard because she wants you to have some deeper understanding of your childhood. People generally push for change when current circumstances are problematic, which leads me to believe that your behavior with her and your kids affects them in a way you’re unable or unwilling to accept. 13 pages of you pushing back on therapy and arguing with posters provides a pretty good clue of how you respond to the people in your home. I’m pretty pragmatic and I don’t believe in endless talk therapy either, but the issue isn’t whether that’s good or bad, the issue is whether or not whatever you’re doing at home is successful. If your wife is still pushing for you to do something that you’re not doing, consider that whatever solutions you’ve found at this time aren’t doing the trick. And ignore that reality at your peril. [/quote]

Here’s a reason - she comes from a different background, has her own childhood trauma that she feels comfortable talking with a therapist to sort out, [b]perhaps has her own trauma with my dysfunctional family that she would like to talk to someone to sort out[/b] and she has a tough believing I could work through my own trauma without going to someone about it. But we’re different.

If you want to talk about what’s become clear over the last 13 pages is that, actually, I already do quite a few things that most people consider “therapy” and I am very happy with them. By most people’s standards, apparently, I am doing therapy. Maybe I could benefit from cbt, which I’d never heard of? I keep talking about it because I find it interesting.[/quote]

What was her trauma with your dysfunctional family—and why are you writing about it as though it has nothing to do with this?[/quote]

My dad sucks and has also been nasty to her. One of the reasons I chose not to engage with him anymore.
[/quote]
Your terseness about all of this is remarkable.[/quote]

This nonsense about the plumber analogy has really taken this thread off the rails but DP here who also eventually significantly limited contact with a very unpleasant parent. OP is 20-30 years out from his childhood, it would be weirder to me if he was super emotional about it. You can't cry about something for decades, eventually you either decide if you're going to do something about it or let it ruin your life. [/quote]

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