Reply to Do women expect a ring at 1 year?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend is coming up shortly, and I’m being hounded by family and friends to propose to her. My parents have told me to not let her get away, as well as many of my closest friends. My girlfriend and I have had a great relationship but I’m just not ready. I love her but I feel 1 year is too short to make a lifelong commitment, and I don’t see the rush. [/quote]

NP here.  I don’t want to speak for every woman only for myself and how I was raised.  In my mid-20’s, 2.5 years max else that situation wasn’t for me. That timeline shortens more like 1.5 after late 20’s/early 30’s and not just because of biological clock and wanting to have kids in my early 30’s but because I would have more relationship experience and better idea of what I want and don’t want.   I also don’t believe in living together before engaged.  When you mentioned your sibling having a rough patch when they got engaged and started living together and going to therapy.  Likely if the commitment hadn’t been there they would have been more willing to walk away than work it out.

I would also add that feeling ready for marriage and specifically to the person doesn’t necessarily happen on a strict timeline.  However, I always felt I was moving forward where I was asking the types of questions one would need to know if you are thinking of getting married, observing if actions and words aligned, and looking at the things that are part of healthy relationships  like the five Cs (communication, compromise etc.).  I also found trusting myself and being willing to work on communication were my concrete actions to move towards being ready to be married to anyone.

I didn’t read all the posts but OP, if you aren’t sure, what steps are you taking to gain more clarity other than wanting to movie in and waiting for the passage of time?[/quote]

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