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Reply to "My marriage is going to break over the little things"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you and DH are in a behavior feedback loop, and you need to break it. He does X, you get upset and criticize, he defends himself, and it goes on until the next day, when you are still angry and he concedes something. If it's the same thing every time, then you need to change your behavior at the beginning of the pattern, and then he'll change his. For example, if the typical pattern is that he does something you think isn't ok and you demand to know how he could do that, try doing something different. Like, maybe he puts the plate on the couch, and instead of angrily demanding how he could do such a thing, just ask nicely if he could put the plate in the sink. Or maybe just ignore it. You need to stop that escalation of the little thing into an argument, and you can't control him, so you need to make a change on your end - not in your feelings, but in the action or actions that launch the two of you into that feedback loop that creates bad feelings. [/quote]
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