Reply to Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents

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Reply to "Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like your son was parroting comments and sentiments you yourself had expressed. You invited someone to your home only to mock him and enlist your elementary school son in the process. That is no way to treat a guest. You owe him an apology. I suggest counseling to deal with your deep rooted latent hostility and anger towards your family. They’re all obviously fine with their living and support arrangements. You, on the other hand, are seething with rage. Please get help soon and stop attacking those who love you. [/quote]

NP and you are obnoxious.

To me, it’s clear that at worst, OP is guilty of not being sympathetic to the fact that her brother might have some kind of unseen mental health disorder. But that is not entirely her fault if her family chose not to share this with her and just allowed her to think he’s just lazy and entitled all these years.
What else is OP supposed to think?
And her DS didn’t belittle or mock him. OP said he simply asked questions about why he didn’t have a job—questions that the uncle didn’t know how to answer and that made him uncomfortable.
Oh well.
Maybe if the family had included OP on what was going on with him, she could offer an explanation that made more sense.

Yes OP comes off sounding bitter and hurt. [b]But being the sibling in her position watching how the parents favor her brother with no explanation can leave a lot of hurt.[/quote][/b]

Exactly this. I've been told point blank by my mom "i don't need to worry about you because i know you'll figure it out. I just only need to worry about your sister" and "I don't remember your wedding anniversary but I remember your sister's because her marriage is worse than yours".

[b]Newsflash parents: you need to wrry about ALL of your kids. Not just treat them as sink or swim.[/b] [/quote]

That is definitely not true. Both my DH and I have failure to launch brothers. We're not desperate to have our parents worrying over us and coddling us. We think it's sad our brothers are in this position but there are other issues at play. We're just grateful we are not them. We aren't desperate for our parent's support and attention as adults, we have our own family to worry about. The cord is cut.[/quote]

I think you've just internalized your dysfunctional family dynamic.  We all need parents and to feel like we matter. THose of us who are able to do well understood that we didn't have a choice.  Noone is asking for coddling, but actual curiousity and interest would be nice. Remembering an anniversary is not coddling. [/quote]

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