Reply to About to Jump Off a Ledge Over Upcoming MIL Visit, Please Talk Me Down

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand why you can’t just tell your husband no. [/quote]

Because this is some weird cultural problem that the rest of us can't help with.[/quote]

I'm Pakistani and my MIL is an annoying PIA who would have loved for me to die in childbirth so she could move in. My husband also LOVES being lazy around her.  honestly, 3 weeks n and 3 weeks off is insane and that DH doesnt make it up to you by being nicer behind the scenes  or taking stuff off your plate is miserable.

So- you get a local airbnb and move there with your tween. This is going to cause a ruckus so be prepared for it- my mom would be calling me and my aunt and blah blah but it's worth it.  Your husband who is the person who brings this interloper into your home needs to make a choice and the sooner the better for you.  we are all taught to be scared of the gossiping aunties but you know- this is America, they dont have any influence over anything. Not our kids rishtas, or college placement or career prospects, or how the land/jewelry/heirlooms will be divided up. None of the stuff that made family gossip so dangerous and impactful for generations has any thing to do with how we live life here. And also this isn't even that bad- hetero couple having issues is a nothing. burger compared to the stuff that goes on now, you didnt run away with your lesbian love or anything! so just pack your bags and leave, WITH the tween. he's your kid. [/quote]

Your first line made me laugh!  I'm pretty sure my MIL feels the same way, although I'm too old for childbirth now and she's probably just hoping for cancer or a car crash.  But let me tell you, these MIL's are sneaky!  I did as you suggested once, and it worked for a long time, but then the MIL came up with a sneaky move.  She sold her house - without warning - and showed up on our doorstep, claiming she has nowhere to live.  So then DH felt like he was kicking her out onto the street if we didn't let her in.  So after months I finally convinced him that she had to go to an apartment, and she did.  But a year later, she moved out of that and showed up again, claiming rent was too high.  This goes on and on - she always seems to be "between residences."  But it's BS because she has plenty of money.  But when DH thinks his poor mother is going to be homeless, it's hard to push back without looking like the evil DIL.  [/quote]

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