Reply to If H takes this job, it’s going to break me.

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[quote=Anonymous]
[b]He wants to live like he is a bachelor, and he thinks it's fine because "the kids like me".[/b]

OP, you wrote the above line in one of your recent posts. Please re-read it to yourself. Over and over. You nailed the core issue with this one sentence. Separate finances, sleeping when he wants, carping over a dirty pot when he just dumps his dirty plate on the counter, playing games, leaving the dog to your care blah blah a thousand times blah blah....

He's a bachelor who happens to cohabitate with a woman and children. Not a husband, lover, parent and partner. Not an adult.

I am not advocating divorce (at this point) but with the recent financial revelation about his income PLUS the suspicion that his "important position trial period" at work migiht [i]actually[/i] be a performance improvement plan because he's in trouble....It's time to lawyer up and script your talk to him about the financial deception, the utter disregard for the children's schedules and lives, and the lack of communciation about his ACTUAL work situation and why it sounds shady [i]even if it isn't[/i] (because, again, no communication). Do not get into chore cards and other household crap. You are past all that, unfortunately. Deal with the financial questions first and immediately and find out where his salary is really going. I would tell him that since you can't trust what he says, you and he must go to a financial adviser or lawyer to sit down with his actual work pay documents and walk through them. [/quote]

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