Reply to If H takes this job, it’s going to break me.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's absolutely possible to find a husband who doesn't dump all the work on you.  My brother has been a SAHD and is the primary caretaker for his kids (his wife's job requires a lot of travel, he works remotely part time).  My husband and I share childcare equally.  When I drop my kid off at preschool half of those doing dropoff and pickup are Dads.[/quote]

Yeah, it's possible. [b]But there are still norms and averages.[/b]  Most women get shafted, taking on more than the man.  Getting back to OP, though, she is in a situation where its not just inequitable, it's *entirely* on her. Its a rare circumstance where divorce may be the rational solution. He seems to be functionally not really a husband already so formalizing it and moving on seems sensible.  [/quote]

And we've discussed this on here before. On average, men work more hours than women overall, when taking into account both the home and outside work: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/

"On average, married fathers’ time in paid and unpaid work totals 55.5 hours per week, 1.4 hours more than that of married mothers."

So, yeah, women don't get shafted. They might work more at home, but, on average, they work fewer hours overall and make less money overall.

On one point, I agree: OP's husband sounds like deadweight and should be booted from her life.[/quote]

That report isn't making the point you seem to think it is making.[/quote]

It definitely is. Married men work more hours than married women. Not as much in the house, but more outside of the house, which more than makes up for the deficit at home.[/quote]

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