Reply to Getting Divorced. People Say “I’m sorry.” Why?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is so disingenuous. They say it because your marriage failed and they’re trying to be polite.

Don’t be such an ass. If you want to let people know you’re happy and it’s for the best, then say that. But how could people possibly know that unless you told them?!

Come on. I can’t stand when people like you throw basic civility back in people’s faces. They’re trying to be nice and polite but you want even more. You want people to be able to read your mind and anticipate your needs moment to moment. You know that’s supremely unrealistic right?[/quote]

It’s not  polite or civil. It’s an ill-bread response.[/quote]

How did we come to someone arguing that a simple “oh, I’m sorry to hear that” to someone announcing the end of their marriage is impolite, un-civil, and a sign of ill breeding?  :lol:  (Or ill bread)[/quote]

Because it is and it’s been explained over and over. Don’t say sorry, it’s rude.

A well educated person knows to not say sorry to something that is not bad.[/quote]

This is hilarious. So, does this mean I should send a condolence card to my friend who is getting married? If the point of marriage is to do it so you can then go on to have a beautiful divorce later that friends and strangers alike should congratulate you on? Please go on [/quote]

What up with the black and white thinking.

If someone is at UVA and then transfers to UMCP do you say sorry, no, you’re glad they found a place they like better.

I’m going to UVA, congratulations!
How’s UVA? Oh I’m at Md now I didn’t really like UVA.
Oh best wishes go Terps.

What would you say “oh I’m so sorry, what happened… you had dreams of being a cavalier. Condolences. “
No you would NEVER say that

How’s Mary?
Oh we got divorced.
Oh I didn’t hear how are the kids doing I haven’t seen them in so long.

Its like you guys need social skills classes [/quote]
Why would you need to ask how the kids are doing? I thought this process was easy for them and they were so happy about it. And if someone said “I was at UVA for a year but didn’t like it so I transferred to Old Dominion” I’d say “oh I’m sorry to hear you didn’t like it. How’s ODU treating you?” [/quote]

And the fact you say you are sorry they are at Old Dominion show you have a low EQ and you think lesser of Old Dominion.

If they said I’m no longer at UVA I transferred to Harvard, would you say sorry. [/quote]

Yes. “Oh, I’m sorry UVA wasn’t what you hoped it would be, but I’m so glad you are at Harvard! How is it going?”

I mean, you either opted to be at UVA from the get-go for presumably sound reasons (you married him because you loved him and though it was right), or you failed to get into Harvard the first time (you couldn’t get the ring from your true love, you you settled and are now back with your true love), so…[/quote]

Are you seriously sorty I’m going to Harvard, lol that crazy talk. I only did UVA for 1 semester because I had to defer my admissions due to my ACL surgery,

Don’t make assumptions about people you don’t know.[/quote]

I’m sorry you had to defer your admissions due to your ACL surgery! SORRY!

I’m also sorry for your failed marriage.[/quote]

I’m sorry Bob is screwing his secretary and you don’t have enough of an education to leave and support yourself![/quote]

Aww, I’m home for the holidays with my beautiful family. DH and I have great jobs. I have a master’s degree and make well into the six figures. Looking forward to being surrounded by loved ones this holiday. I hope you can find some peace. I’m sorry for your failed marriage.[/quote]

Well, PP, you sound terrible.[/quote]

What’s terrible is that the PP I am responding to said that when people dare to say they’re sorry to hear of her divorce, that she replies, “You’re sorry you can’t get one?” Um…

If someone says they are sorry for your divorce and that doesn’t sit well with you, by all means, say something like: “Please don’t be sorry—I am happy and relieved.” Don’t project and hyper-defensively say outright that they are jealous that they “can’t get a divorce, too” WTF. Read her actual posts.

If she said that to me, I would have absolutely no problem setting her straight, and here we are.[/quote]

Can you get a divorce?[/quote]

Could I if I wanted to? Absolutely. Do I want to? Nope! I’m sorry that bothers you? [/quote]

It doesn't bother me. Does it bother you I asked, you seem triggered.[/quote]

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