Reply to 17 Year Old Custody Schedule

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does Dad show up for anything?[/quote]

OP here: yes, he goes to a few football games each season, but not all.

He sporadically goes to band concerts, but usually can’t or won’t make it during the work week.

We haven’t really had parent teacher conferences since elementary school, so it’s been a long time since he’s been to those.

I can’t think of anything else. He complains a lot about the driving (which is annoying because he’s the one who moved…). He would never, ever drive DS to a friend’s house or anything like that on “his” weekend.

My ex does seem to want to spend time with DS, but only at his house and on his terms. He would never drive down here just for a midweek dinner with DS or something like that.[/quote]

You ex doesn’t want a relationship with DS where he has to put in the work.  But you already know that.[/quote]

OP here: sure, those thoughts have crossed my mind.

But it doesn’t matter if I think my ex is not always a stellar father, or that I think he could do things better/differently. He’s still my DS’s dad, and there’s still a court order that has to be followed until spring.

If my ex seeks an emergency hearing over this, I really don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ll have to represent myself pro se, I guess. The thought of it makes me sick.[/quote]

As others have said, this is between dad and his son.  Let dad deal with this.  He can’t make him get in the car anymore than you can.  I’d take my chances and let ex file the emergency hearing.  I’d deal with it once the court date was set.  [/quote]

No, its between the two parents.  Dad already compromised and reduced the schedule.  If child doesn't follow the rules there needs to be consequences.  If kid doesn't want to go to school, you just say ok?  Doesn't want to shower or do homework, that's ok?[/quote]

What consequences do you think you’re going to be able to enforce on a 17yr old? You’re going to take away his phone that she presumably pays for?  He needs his computer for school work so you can’t take that away.  At 17, he’s going to be working on college applications after school.  And while he’s on the computer there are many ways to get in contact with his friends.  You’re going to punish the child by not allowing him work on applications?  A 17 yr old that wants to meet up with his friends is going to do so.  You can’t lock him in is room.

I don’t think you’ve had an angry teenager in your house.  And since you seem to keep glossing over the WHY behind the Friday night change, Ill remind you. Dad created a shortened weekend because he did not want to provide transportation to football practice on Sat morning.  Dad did it because it benefited him to not have to drive.[/quote]

EXACTLY[/quote]

Also meant to say skipping HS football practice is not an option in this scenario. [/quote]

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