Reply to DH Can’t Stand Having Two Kids… 2 Years Later

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The people suggesting the DH should just find a way to make more income.....?  Bonkers.

DH wanted one kid. He's currently working a full time job plus handling the bulk of household responsibilities. So that OP can effectively be in a hobby volunteer position that consumes more hours than a full time job.

[/quote]

Actually it’s the people suggesting OP give up her dream job that are bonkers. Also he is not doing the bulk of household but finally being asked to do 50% of the childrearing instead of almost nothing. Ie he is finally being asked to be an adult in any equal partnership rather than being taken care of by a wife and protected from the challenging tasks of parenting.

Outsourcing his fair share is a reasonable suggestion as is the suggestion that he be responsible in financing that, [/quote]

In most households with 2 working parents, both parents are working during the daytime, and they come home and split childcare duties at night.  There are always 2 pairs of hands on deck. Or there might be alternate nights where one parent gets to go out and do something fun, and the next night it's the other parent's turn.  But that's not what it sounds like is happening here.  DH is coming home after a full day of work, and then his wife is working and he is saddled with all of the evening childcare.  That's not a healthy setup for anyone.  Their options are to get full time childcare during the day so they are both on deck in the evenings, or she can quit her low-paying hobby job.  Another option would be to get an evening mother's helper, a teen who will work for a lower pay rate and make evenings easier. But it still doesn't seem fair to the father to have to single parent every day of the week in the evenings.  [/quote]

The only reason she is working evenings is that they only have part time childcare which means she is the childcare during the rest of the daytime hours.  Plenty of people save on childcare by shifting work schedules so that one parent is on childcare duty while  the other works and vice versa. Op has said childcare is 50-50. op has a full day of work which she splits between daytime and evening - her dh has a full days of work and covers evenings. This is fair. It’s her DREAM job not a hobby job.   She’s been supporting him now it’s his turn to reciprocate. [/quote]

If it's so low pay that it can't cover basic childcare, then it's a HOBBY JOB.  Not a real job.  [/quote]

+1[/quote]

Again the husbands job does not pay enough for childcare either so he that would mean he has a hobby job too!!!

Many jobs don’t pay enough for childcare l. It’s ridiculous to dismiss them as hobby jobs. Husband needs to find a higher paying job so he can outsource his fair share of childcare. (Op is not complaining about her fair share…)[/quote]

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