Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother and her aunt were sexually abused by a family member when they were young.  When they started seeking therapy as adults and chose to name their abuser, I was shocked by how many people in the family were FURIOUS with them for airing dirty laundry, not thinking about how it would impact others, not just getting over it, etc.

Abusers and dysfunctional people are fine with continuing the cycle of shame, secret keeping, denial, and gaslighting.  It’s what they know, it’s what they are comfortable with.  People who were raised this way will continue is the cycle.

The kids can’t be protected from something that already occurred.  The cheating already took place.  Their lives have been massively altered.  The damage already happened.  Stop blaming the victim for putting a name to the event that caused the damage.  [/quote]

You are conflating wrongs. When a spouse cheats they owe their spouse honestly and accountability. I do not think a spouse owes dead silence. They can talk about it in safe ways that protect their children.

Your mother and sister in law were owed honesty and justice. And of course these situations are not the same as they had a violent crime perpetrated against them. Equating these things shows your skewed judgement.

They can be protected because no one committed a crime against them. The damage is that the family is split. Again, trying to turn them against the cheater if the cheater is an active present parent does nothing but self serve the other spouse and harm the innocent kids.[/quote]
+1[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics