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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way. [/quote]

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them.  You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet.  You have no idea what you're talking about.  [/quote]

Well, some people like to be intellectually stimulated. And sitting at home while a kid naps isn't great for that. Maybe you have no idea what you're talking about. [/quote]

Meh, I like to be mentally stimulated as well - but as someone who has been both a full time sahm and someone who currently works full time with high schoolers - the amount of stress of working far exceeds the amount of mental stimulation occurring. I actually get far more mental stimulation helping my kids with their homework than I do with a full day of my job or when I had more Time for reading when my kids napped. I actually read A TON when my kids were young and I wasn't working. I reread and read all the classics and loved every second of it. Less time to do that now.

People walking around complaining that being a mom to young children isn't "mentally stimulating" enough for them are missing the point. Your job is to use YOUR brain to stimulate THEIR brains. Not just to walk around pompously talking about how boring you find nap time. 
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I agree with you, but apparently many parents feel that their children are better off spending that time with underpaid, undereducated, under dedicated and often constantly changing daycare workers.  Not to say that some daycare workers and situations aren't okay but I much preferred to be my children's primary influence when they were birth to about age 4 with some half day preschool thrown in.  I didn't find it boring at all, I had plenty to do to stimulate my mind and theirs and to keep life interesting.  Then when they were in school full time I pursued my career.  It worked out great, my kids are grown now and they are my evidence that I did the right thing for my family.  Certainly not for everyone obviously but kind or ridiculous to assume all SAHMs are going to be bored while the baby takes a nap.[/quote]

It baffles me that you think the kind of woman with a career worth going back to, who is successful in her field, doesn’t vet her childcare providers.  The only point I agree with is that they’re underpaid and that’s why I make it my business to give extremely generous gifts. Undereducated? My daughter’s infant teacher didn’t have a college degree, you’re right. She did have grandchildren, humor, kindness and endless patience. Underdedicated? Not if you’re in a place that values their staff and treats them well. Same about “constantly changing”.

Honestly your views on the people, primarily women, who work in childcare say quite a lot about you. If you want to be hostile to my choice to return to work— or insecure about your choice to stay home— that’s cool. But bashing women who work in childcare in this high cost of living area is a pretty ugly look. [/quote]

Your anecdotal evidence based on your own childcare providers doesn't actually prove much.  I have worked at a daycare center, provided home daycare and know a number of daycare workers.  I'm not bashing women who work in childcare centers, I'm talking about who is actually the typical daycare provider (not all) and they are underpaid, they are under educated and staff changes often which indicates under dedicated.  I'm not making this up.  You can deny it, or you can say your  nanny makes great money and has a advanced degree but that doesn't change the demographics of typical daycare providers in this country.

I'm pretty sick of some working moms who act like any idiot can properly care for infants and toddlers.  I disagree.  For my own kids I felt it was important to provide their early childcare myself.  My husband wanted to do it too but he made more money than me so he reluctantly agreed to work but he definitely wanted to stay home with our kids when they were little.  I had no problem establishing a career once they were in school.

I think society is paying a price for so many kids being raised by subpar daycare workers.  Not ALL kids, but definitely a significant number.  You can take that as hostility toward you if you want but I have zero insecurity about my decision to stay home with my kids before they started school.  They are adults and they are all the proof I need that I did the right thing.[/quote]

The trouble with trying to backtrack on Internet forums is that the quote function is right there. So, let’s review how you chose to “not bash” women in childcare centers, shall we?

“many parents feel that their children are better off spending that time with [b]underpaid, undereducated, under dedicated and often constantly changing daycare workers[/b].”

Everyone agrees with you that childcare workers in the United States are underpaid. Where I found your comments to be absolutely disgusting was in calling them “underdedicated”. Particularly in the pandemic, childcare workers who were caring for the children of doctors and nurses were risking their lives and staying on the job when, in many cases, unemployment benefits would have been giving them more money then their salaries. That is remarkably dedicated and did they get a word of praise from media, as doctors, nurses and grocery store clerks did? I sure didn’t hear it.

Now if we want to take your personal anecdata I absolutely believe you that you worked in daycare centers providing subpar care, and provided home daycare that was subpar. Your sample size of one bad daycare provider is accepted. I will also believe you that you were underpaid, undereducated and underdedicated, as you would be the most relevant expert on that fact.

I also have to quibble with your idea that “many mothers” believe that “any idiot” can take care of an infant. Do fathers all undergo brainwashing on the day that childcare is chosen? Does my MBA-wielding husband somehow lose his ability to do analyses that day? Remarkable. [/quote]

I feel like you are being severely judgmental toward me, I can only assume it comes from a place of insecurity about your own decisions.  I'm sure you see at least a kernel of truth in what I said but feel compelled to argue with it anyway and attack me personally, as others also have, even though none of you have one iota of knowledge about me, my background, my actual experiences or my relationship with my own children (which another PP was quite sure she could characterize accurately) which makes perfect sense to me because I'm quite sure many working parents have many misgivings about who is caring for their children when they are infants and toddlers.  I notice nobody has argued at all with the concept that our society is paying a heavy price for all the children who are being cared for in subpar daycare situations during their critical first years.  Hard to argue with that.  Especially since there is evidence everywhere. [/quote]

The reason I’m not engaging with your “society is going to pay a heavy price!” malarkey is because, as pointed out elsewhere in this thread, society is literally held together by mothers who work. They’re your grandchild’s heart surgeon, if god forbid they need it. They’re our nurses. They’re our teachers. They’re our lawyers and our diplomats and our scientists. When you show up at your doctors office in pain, do you want someone to care for you or not? Do you want someone to answer 911 when you call, or not?

You are not some kind of a victim just because people are telling you that you’re wrong. [/quote]

I don't see myself as any kind of victim, however apparently on DCUM the worst insult or comment you can make is that someone makes you or others feel judged.  So I thought I'd try it too since others are trying to attack me by saying I am extremely judgmental.  Just pointing out, all of you are as well.

Also, I have no problem whatsoever with women in every possible job or career.  I just also think our children deserve the best quality care when they are infants and toddlers and i also think many women today refuse to see that.  I think women and I guess men too prioritize having a bigger house, a better car, vacations, etc.. as well as prioritizing their careers, over what is best for their kids at that young age.  I believe infants and toddlers deserve to be cared for primarily by someone who loves and adores them more than anything else in the world and wants the absolute best for them.  I get that many parents these days have decided that nannies and daycare workers can do that just as well as parents.  I disagree.  So there's my opinion, feel free to skewer me for it as many will do.  I can handle it.[/quote]

You are delusional. The number of parents putting their kids in daycare to prioritize vacations etc is VANISHINGLY small, because the number of parents that have the luxury of that kind of decision is vanishingly small. This kind of demented thinking and justification for weirdly judgmental and insufferably smug anti-daycare posts makes you sound like some kind of religious nut job who really wants to put other women in their place. Why?  Honestly ask yourself why you want to come on here to spread guilt and misinformation to moms on an anonymous website. You sure aren’t doing it for the children. 
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