Reply to If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?

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Reply to "If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't stay with a spouse who cheats just "for the kids." That's a terrible burden to put on them. [/quote]

How is that a burden on them? So I shouldn't have married either because I married for the kids. Yes, he is wonderful man, but we would have remained boyfriend/ girlfriend if I did not want kids

I guess it's different for those who marry primarily for romantic love. I love my DH very much. But I did not marry him because of that. I married him because I thought marriage was the best institution under which we could raise children. So staying for those children can still make sense if he cheats.[/quote]

I grew up in a family where my Dad cheated on my Mom continuously.  Watching her stay for us, knowing there was no love, no respect, no truth between my parents was very difficult.  I often wondered why my mother didn't respect herself more.  She wasn't doing herself, OR HER KIDS, any favors by staying.[/quote]

I hope you have gotten therapy.  You still sound very troubled.[/quote]
Obnoxious thing to say. You sound very troubled.[/quote]]

DP. ?  Your outbursts only prove the point.  Anytime a child is railing against the past and still angry and judgmental, there is unprocessed trauma that is going to affect their relationships and their adult life.  The problem will become generational when the work to heal is not done.  Read "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents".  I am sure you will see a lot of your parents in there and see how it is still affecting your life and your choices.[/quote]

This was not the same person. You've responded  to two different people. You are too high minded of yourself. Probably the same poster who likes to talk about infidelity when she or he has never experienced it. I don't blame my parents. I think your comment is obnoxious. The person simply didn't like living in a household where there was no love. You projected that she blamed her parents for something about herself currently. She was merely responding to the poster that was saying somehow it was beneficial for the kids for parents to stay together after cheating. See you are reading things into these comments that aren't there, not the other way round.[/quote]

DP. It's interesting how you are capable of pointing out how the poster is reading things into comments that aren't there while you are reading into comments that aren't there. Ins ome cases, it is beneficial for the parents to stay together after cheating. That was my point. You cannot say that divorce is always more beneficial to the children than staying together is. Go back and read my post. I wrote that it "can" make sense, not that it always makes sense.
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