Reply to If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?

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Reply to "If you forgave infidelity, how did you do it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't stay with a spouse who cheats just "for the kids." That's a terrible burden to put on them. [/quote]

How is that a burden on them? So I shouldn't have married either because I married for the kids. Yes, he is wonderful man, but we would have remained boyfriend/ girlfriend if I did not want kids

I guess it's different for those who marry primarily for romantic love. I love my DH very much. But I did not marry him because of that. I married him because I thought marriage was the best institution under which we could raise children. So staying for those children can still make sense if he cheats.[/quote]

I grew up in a family where my Dad cheated on my Mom continuously.  Watching her stay for us, knowing there was no love, no respect, no truth between my parents was very difficult.  I often wondered why my mother didn't respect herself more.  She wasn't doing herself, OR HER KIDS, any favors by staying.[/quote]

Do you think there's some internalized misogyny here? At least in this statement, you're directly all of your anger towards the person who ill used, rather than the person who was using her ill. She probably thought she was making the best choice out of only bad choices.[/quote]

Ack, that didn't come out right:

Do you think there's some internalized misogyny at play here? At least in this statement, you're directing all of your anger towards the person who was ill used, rather than the person who was using her ill. She probably thought she was making the best choice out of only bad choices.[/quote]

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