Reply to Girlfriend Has Changed Her Mind On Every Important Issue

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I didn’t realize this thread was still going.

I’ve had 4 other serious relationship. 3 in my twenties where it was serious but neither of us were at a point where we wanted to settle down at that age. My last was two years long and was very serious. I planned to marry her but ultimately she didn’t want kids and it ended. She felt like she needed to have kids because bed family was telling her that’s what is normal, but she told me when we were about to get engaged that she didn’t want kids, and didn’t feel right marrying me knowing I wanted kids. She said she loved me and didn’t want to lie to me. She tried to want those things but she just didn’t want kids. I loved her but I do want kids and decided it was best to end the relationship. That was two years ago and she has since married a man who also doesn’t want kids. We would be married today if she did want kids because she was an amazing partner and we got along very well.

I’ve lived in my parents paid off condo that they own but I have lived in with roommates and on my own when before moving in here two years ago. I’ve paid rent, paid utilities, and paid for my school on my own. I know how to function as an adult. I could have lived on more money, but I chose to save money because I want to make life easier for my future wife and kids.

I’m open to having a SAHM wife. My mother quit her job to raise me and my brother. I have a strong respect for women who want to stay home and I ultimately don’t care if my wife wants to stay home or work. I don’t mind supporting my family if my wife chooses to stay home. It’s just that she needs to understand that we can’t live beyond our means and have the most expensive everything. She will have full access to money and will never have to worry about looking over every expense. I’ve lived with my ex before this one for a year and never had an issue. I just want someone reasonable who will live within their means and not spend money or the point that we can’t afford a comfortable lifestyle.

I never said I would pay for the wedding and down payment, she just assumed. She was raised in an upper middle class family but she is not from a rich family. She does work and makes a good income. She does pay for her own apartment. I did pay for everything while we were together. When discussing finances, she just assumed I would pay for everything. We discussed my savings and I told her how I save most of my money because I want to be able to afford a house, have a wife who has the option to stay at home, have kids, etc. [b]Besides groceries, she had never once paid for anything, and she just assumed I would pay for everything as well. I don’t mind paying for it, but the assumption that I would pay for it all feels like I’m being used.

I’m not perfect and I don’t pretend to be. I just want someone who loves me and wants to be with me for more than what I can do for them.[/b] I want a real partner, not someone who sees me as their meal ticket. My parents have been married for over 40 years and have been an excellent example of what real love, commitment, and partnership is. I want that for my future kids.

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She already paid her own rent.  She lived with you for [u]two months[/u], in a condo that you do not have to pay rent on, and paid for groceries and "household things" (of course now you're erasing that as well).  What did you want her to do, pay rent to you and for her apartment, when you live in a paid-off condo as a gift from your parents?  Where is the money you think she owes you?  Should she have taken over the light bill in addition to her own bills, while you save 90% of your income for a house?  The more you post the crazier it seems that you're trying to paint her as a gold digger.  You bought her a ring, which she gave back.  Beyond that I don't see where she got any gold, but she did dodge a bullet.

I think you have something pathological going on with your savings.  You like seeing it grow but are very upset at the idea of using it for its intended purpose.  You say you were saving for a house, wedding, for your wife to be a SAHM, about half a dozen times in this thread.  But when you propose to a woman who wants to buy a house and to stay at home after kids are born, you decide that she's materialistic for wanting the things you profess to want yourself.  You can keep blaming her but you're the one who proposed to this person, and no she did not change her mind between making fun of someone else's ring for being small, telling you she wanted a big ring, and then telling you she wanted a bigger ring than what you bought.  There's no change there.  That's the same woman, behaving in the same way.  The one you proposed to.[/quote]

Are you being intentionally stupid or are you really that dense?

OP didn’t have an issue with buying a house - only that she wanted a house 1m more than he wanted. He budgeted for 1.5m and she wanted a 2.5m house.

He bought her a 20k 1.5 carat ring that she deemed “ too small”.

This is a woman who clearly wants to live an expensive life on OPs dime while complaining it’s never enough. The vast majority of 30 year old women would be happy with a 1.5 carat ring, 1.5m, and a man who makes 400k and has 2m in savings who wants to get married, have kids, and will support her decision to stay at home if she chooses. His ex is the unreasonable one.[/quote]

+1. OP needs to find someone else. Most women will be thrilled with a man like OP what he can offer them. [/quote]

+100 he dodged a bullet[/quote]

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