Reply to Dating for 4 months and he said "not ready" for relationship- I walked away, now what?

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Reply to "Dating for 4 months and he said "not ready" for relationship- I walked away, now what?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: his text last night, “I think we should give this another chance…”

Me (tonight): "I'm feeling confused about what you actually want..."

Him: (a few minutes later): "You've been helping me figure it out...the last few months have been so beautiful!"

What does this even mean- is he being purposefully vague? [/quote]

seriously OP?  As a guy let me translate - he is trying to be suave about it, but he's essentially telling you that he wants to continue to sleep with you.  nothing more.[/quote]

OP: thank you. You're right. I wrote back and said I'd like to make a clean break. He wrote back and said he wanted to "keep building on what we have" [b]but I didn't respond (and don't plan to respond anymore)[/b].[/quote]
Time to block his number, OP. This guy is a turnip. The smell will only get worse over time. 
Keep looking. You have good instincts. You will find that great guy. GL![/quote]

OP: I didn't respond to him saying he wanted to keep building and then deleted his number. He sent me an email saying he would like to go away together after Christmas (that was one of my issues). Do you think there's ANY way he's a sincere guy? Or am I being taken advantage of?[/quote]

“I’d like to go away after Christmas” is literally nothing.

“Are you free the weekend of MLK day, I want to book us at Salamander resort for a couple of days” might make me think he had taken anything you said to heart. [/quote]

I know you are trying to decide if it’s worth starting over if there really is a chance that this might go somewhere.  If you need the peace of mind, you need to talk on the phone or FaceTime etc and say you need for him to spell out what would be different and his willingness to change.  Is he upset that you are upset and truly didn’t realize and wants to make it right, or has he enjoyed not having to do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing for whatever reason and this last ditch effort would delay the inevitable breakup.

I’ve seen these things go both ways - where that 2nd chance just delayed the inevitable and where the 2nd chance worked out.  I don’t know if there is hard and fast rule to know which path it will take but I think the key might be did the person change their behavior because of a realization that whatever they where holding onto was not as important as the other person and they believe it’s a good change or did they only change to hold onto the other person.  Deep down, if you are going against something you truly believe is important/want to hold onto just to keep someone else happy, I don’t think you will truly be happy or be able to sustain that in a relationship. [/quote]

You just need to talk to him. Tell him you’re open to hearing specifics and leave the ball in his court.[/quote]

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