Reply to Support Group for middle aged husbands not having sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So there's another thread going here where one of the commenter was suggesting that sex was going to be contingent on the woman getting a massage or a pedicure, the husband arranging a sitter, and going out on a date night. Here there was a commenter talking about a 2 week vacation.

This isn't novel. These kinds of things get mentioned pretty much every time this subject crops up. What's never clear to me is whether the expectation is that this sort of free time and expenditure of money is more or less necessary every time the couple wants to have sex. Or is this something that will happen every once in awhile and enable the couple to maintain a regular sex life.

Because (say) 8 pedicures, date nights, and sitters a month -- let alone vacations -- sounds time consuming and expensive. [/quote]

Look, I don’t get any pedicures, date nights, solo vacations or any of the stuff. What I do get is a husband who cooks, cleans, does laundry, shops, steps up on childcare, is willing to discuss his feelings and my needs, and hash out bigger picture things to support me in my career and personal life. We have sex as much as he wants. When you have a good one, it just flows naturally.[/quote]

Good to hear, and that sounds reasonable. Being considerate partners who work together to deal with life's challenges, like each other, and - as a result - enjoy having sex with one another sounds like the goal most couples should be working toward. And, you know - if one partner treats the other every so often or you go on a vacation here or there, that's going to hopefully turbo charge a healthy relationship.

On the flip side, the need for elaborate alone time and/or wining and dining before sex is ever on the table seems dysfunctional and expensive.[/quote]

That’s a symptom of an overly stressed life. If your wife needs that you probably need to rethink the whole childcare/work situation, because she’s not happy.[/quote]

[b]But most of these people on here have pretty ordinary jobs, one or two kids, and ordinary sized homes. There is no reason to be so stressed and frazzled that you cannot even connect with your partner. I guess if you don't like the guy, that's one thing, but then you shouldn't have married him and had kids with him! But really, it's not that much work.[/b][/quote]This really says it all.  So many excuses in this thread and it really comes down to this. This whole thread should end on this note.[/quote]

If it’s not that much work, why all the agony over a man doing it while a woman gets some rest?[/quote]

Yeah, cool. If it’s so easy then you do it![/quote]

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