Reply to A Generation of American Men Give Up on College: ‘I Just Feel Lost’

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, men are falling behind in every single factor.  It's crazy.  So many men are just completely checking out, giving themselves up to a life of video games, porn, and maybe some low income job to collect a paycheck.  It's extremely sad and concerning.

I think a lot of times women are just tougher.  Females have a much higher infancy survival rate and just seem a lot more capable of handling BS, be it physical, emotional, mental, whatever.  They just kind of... adapt.

There's always been slogans about "women are tougher" but over the stress this country has been in for the past 20 years, we're really seeing it be proven true beyond all doubt.  And there's really nothing anyone can do about it, save maybe banning these things like China has done recently. [/quote]

Yet women are crying on here every day about how to bag a rich guy. Sorry, but plenty of women are losers and users. They work dead end jobs, for crap pay, and then bear the brunt of raising their kids. Not seeing how they are winning by being tough. They seem angry, anxious, bitter and depressed.[/quote]

I think as women give up on that, and realize men aren't really capable of keeping up economically anymore, then youre going to see a lot of those priorities shift.  Besides, men are supposed to be providers, that's what they've been all through history.  And now theyre failing.  And it's REALLY unattractive, and not going to attract any high value female.  Oh well. [/quote]

+1. My sister in law does research as an oncology pharmacist.  Wanted kids, but never found a guy who didn’t want to sponge off her. So, she moved near us, and has been a third parent to my kids. Which has been wonderful all around. My kid are very, very close to her, and as they have gotten older have spent larger and larger parts of each summer with her.  DD spent a significant piece of COVID lockdown with her aunt and said it felt more like living with an awesome roommate than parents. She wrote a colleg essay about her aunt being the person she admires most.

I’m so grateful you SIL has been there for my kids.  She travels our family a lot— we just get an extra bedroom. She travels alone with my kids to cool places as they have gotten older.  She ans I travel out of the country every year (or did until COVID). Her family didn’t work out the way she planned, but she has had very close meaningful relationships with my kids that will last her lifetime. [/quote]

That's awesome.  I'm a young women and more and more young women I know are thinking about sperm banks.  Egg freezing, for a certain high economic subset, is de rigeur.  And of course, there's adoption, or, as in your sister's case, a super close relationship with the younger generation of your family, nieces or nephews or cousins.  It all scratches that itch and is a great solution.  And, IMO, is far preferable than settling for a man that is going to underearn you and also be resentful and angry of that fact. [/quote]

I’m the PP and you sound like a smart young lady. I hope my DD is as sensible.   I’m married to someone who is really my equal and it’s great.  I feel very lucky that I found someone who is an equal partner— financially, emotionally, as a parent— when I was 22.  I know many women similarly situated.  Both parents work FT and Dad may well be the one taking the kid to the dentist or cooking dinner. But I also know single moms  (by choice and by death or divirceJ doing well, a male windower, and people like my SIL who become surrogate parents. Foe steering and formal mentor programs aspire another way to go.  There are many ways to make a family.  The ones that don’t work have been women who marry loser guys, know the relationship isn’t great and have kids to try to fix it. Ultimately, they have ended up divorced, but sharing custody with a mediocre ex whose a crappy parent but has the kids 1/2 the time, which isn’t good for their kids.  And I know women staying in bad marriages to avoid having the kids live with an ex 50% of the time.

I certainly have mom friends who are divorced or plan to be divorced as soon as kids head to college. And some  have said they wish they had gone the sperm donor route. Because now they have permanent ties to a loser who has a say over parenting, having kids who have to split time, which is hard for the kids and the mom who doesn’t have the for birthdays, holidays etc.  and have someone with parental rights making bad decisions for the kids— from letting them play unlimited video games and have no bedtime at dads house, to a mom friend whose ex is trying to stop the kids from getting a COVID vaccine.

I’m glad young women no longer feel that they must settle because they have to be married with 2.5 kids. [/quote]

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