Reply to Why do people with demanding jobs choose to have 3+ kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Serious question: do you guys who are anti-older sisters supervising think it’s okay to ask your kids to fold laundry? Weed the yard? Set the table? Where’s the line between “things we do because we’re members of the family and the family needs this to be done” and “no, that’s the parent’s job”? Bodily fluids seem like the second case, except in extenuating circumstances...[/quote]

I give my kids chores because they are the reason that those chores are necessary. The reason we have to set the table and do dishes is in part because they are eating. The reason we have to fold towels is because they use towels. I want them to understand that living requires work, and work is satisfying. I don't give them chores because I'm relying on them (in fact it would be so much easier for me to just do it all myself).

I do sometimes have my older child (a girl) babysit my younger one, but since childcare isn't part of maintaining a household in the same way other chores are, I pay her for it, and I do it as little as possible because I want to avoid her feeling like she has to take on adult roles. [/quote]

Okay.  But in the example given, the reason the little one needs supervised while mom unloads the dishwasher is because the older one has the scissors out to cut paper dolls.  So, the older child's play IS the reason that the supervision is necessary.   [/quote]

I refuse to give my kid chores that they aren’t expecting and I don’t make them do chores at a moments notice. To me there is no reason that the dishwasher can’t wait. A lot of this has to do with his my mom treated me growing up: she would make me drop what I was doing to go do something for her. She seemed to think I owed her that, but I felt like she was using me for her own convenience. I wouldn’t ask my husband to do that, so I don’t think it’s fair to ask my child to either.

And people can get parenting experience without being asked to drop everything to watch after a sibling. They can find paid babysitting jobs.

But I don’t think it’s some kind of dereliction   of a parents duty to ask a kid to watch another kid. I don’t think they should tell them to do it beside it’s their job to do whatever a parent asks, but to ask for a babysitting favor every once in a while isn’t a big deal. Not something I would do, but not a huge deal. [/quote]

NP - yes it is very clear from your hysterical posting that this chore topic is deeply personal to you. I’m sorry your mom used you for her convenience but a thoughtful parent can (and many do) systematically require age and volume appropriate household chores. When done well this builds character, self-confidence, and competence in children. [/quote]

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