Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just remember this and if anything happens on HER side of the family, please ignore and Do Nothing.

If your family is not worth her effort then certainly do not inconvenience yourself for hers.

If she understands that your mother is precious to you then the love in marriage should enable her to understand you need her to help you.[/quote]
Her parents are dead[/quote]

So is her heart.[/quote]

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

That is some fantastic melodrama.  Well done.[/quote]

Helping out family does not come with a scoreboard.[/quote]

That’s true.

But you really wouldn’t feel a little used if you never got help from family, and they expected you to make all the sacrifices? To be this sounds like a messed up dynamic.

Everyone helps the wealthy sister (including the mom when she was healthy.) In fact, sister doesn’t have to help — dad and brother give her a pass, but the DIL is the one who has to pay $10K in extra childcare per year and keep her kids in extended days for 11 hours/day so she can help? Come on! There’s not keeping score, and there’s being a doormat!

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It seems likely that Op's mom did not feel comfortable helping out with Op's kids because Op's wife had a real chip on her shoulder and Mom was smart enough to know that she would have found fault with every little thing that Op's mom did.  Op's mom wanted to keep the peace, she wanted to preserve her relationship with her son and her grandchildren so she avoided potential drama with her DIL.  It is very clear that Op's wife is a primadonna who sees offense in every little thing that the in-laws do.  She is so self involved that she is making her MIL's dementia all about herself and how it might inconvenience her.  [/quote]

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