Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Paying $40/day and traveling so much just to check on your mother for a few minutes is stupid.

If I were your wife, I would put my foot down too even if you didn’t have siblings to help.

1. Tweak med schedule so your mother can stay until your father comes home. Magnesium supplements are a good idea.

[b]2. Hire a neighbor (retiree, high schooler, college student) to check on your mother.  $10/hr.
[/b]
3. Work on getting your mother in a nursing home. There are waiting lists, so plan now.

[/quote]

OMG.    You do NOT pay a high schooler $10/hr to check in on a medically fragile elderly person!

DCUM...where a nanny must have a PHD and be fluent in 5 languages to watch your sleeping child while you and your spouse go on a dinner date---but let any random 16 year old provide medical care for the elderly.[/quote]

I feel the same about the suggestions to get a neighbor to fill in. I don't know a single person who would agree to this even if paid. [/quote][/quote]

An older person who is alone in there house for 4 hour stretches is not medically fragile.  DH can't afford the agency who runs a minimum of 4 hours per visit.  Yes a neighbor could stop by briefly and be paid to heat up a meal in the microwave or pull a sandwich out of the frig.  A high schooler, certainly a family member is competant of doing this.  Early on in alzheimers it is almost like doing a welfare check.  Mom is late stage alzheimers and I still would not call her medically fragile.
We've had to use the neighbors at times and we've had to use a college student. [/quote]

That sweet, helpful HS kid will come over to help heat up soup in the microwave only to find Op's mom taking a dump on the living room couch.

If Dad is asking for help like this things have gotten BAD. This is not something you are going to Nextdoor your way through.  Dad needs for his kids to step in and help him decide what to do.[/quote]

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