Reply to Can you bounce back from being bad-mouthed to spouse's friends?

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Reply to "Can you bounce back from being bad-mouthed to spouse's friends?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Letters and emails to his friends? Seriously? Letters and emails to his friends are not solutions to the problem which is your husband (not his friends). Your husband is the one who has lied to and disrespected you for YEARS. His friends are only behaving this way because of the way HE behaves, and because he sends the message that HE is totally miserable and trapped.[/quote]

+1.  I think OP and her husband sound perfect for each other!  A horrible husband who badmouths his WIFE and a crazy wife who wants to mail letters.   They deserve each other. [/quote]

I don't think OP is crazy for wanting to mail the letters. I think she's not thinking clearly after years of her husband's manipulations, and she's desperate to save the marriage she thought she had.

Her manipulative husband has convinced her to send the letters because he knows how those letters will be received by his friends. He's gaslighting her. Sounds like he's been gaslighting her for the whole of their relationship.

OP, don't send letters to your husband's friends. Don't send any letters. Don't agree to inviting your husband's friends over for your husband to tell them what's been going on. Just don't do it. None of these "fixes" are going to fix things for you. They're going to make things worse. [/quote]

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