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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Can you bounce back from being bad-mouthed to spouse's friends?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your problem is your husband. Any adult friends with a brain should realize it is completely inappropriate for your dh to be bad mouthing you. Major marriage foul. [/quote] Yeah, I've had friends who got married and badmouthed their spouses like this. And I was like, why yes, your spouse IS unreasonable and jealous and controlling, but she was like that all along, and you married her anyway. The occasional gripe is one thing, or needing a gut check as to whether a spouse is being unreasonable or not, but constantly complaining about your spouse is icky. Either get a divorce or stop airing your dirty laundry. [/quote] Why would you keep getting together with someone like that? They sound awful.[/quote] I stopped, actually. It helped that their possessive spouses didn't like them spending time with other people. [/quote] [b]The wife could have been kind, reasonable, and mature[/b] -- maybe too trusting so oblivious that her husband was bad mouthing her to his friends. Obviously the wife wasn't included in these meetings that you were having with her husband so she is at home taking care of the kids, maybe bring told it was a "guys night". She's clearly not possessive if you are going out with the husband. And maybe it wasn't a guys night and she wasn't a doormat like OP and so the husband didn't want to hang out with you anymore. He realized that you were unhealthy for his marriage because he didn't know how to tell you that he had been lying. [b]This thread makes me realize how insecure most of my guy friends are -- how many of them told me "no way" when I asked them if the new girl who they were into were "the one" and yet, how many of them got engaged to that same girl within half a year? I think we all need to give the absent spouse the benefit of the doubt.[/b] I have to wonder if OP's spouse and your friend are the same person.[/quote] +1 I wonder if the DH's friends are somehow jealous? Maybe they think that DH did better than them, and they are trying to ruin it? OP, you seem too nice for this guy - he sounds like an immature, attention starved a-hole who is easily manipulated by people outside of the relationship. What a loser. I don't care how book smart he is, he sounds like a dumb arse, socially. Really, if he doesn't know how to protect himself from vultures like this, he is not worth your time. He seems like he loves drama and attention - or at least, he is accustomed to being bullied. Are you willing to wait until he loses all these so called friends, learns what real friends are like, and grows up? Do you think he will ever learn to be a decent partner? I think this says a lot about his family, and how he was treated, and how he views women. You might want to think about that. [/quote]
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