Reply to Is the line between "courtship" and harassment really that blurry?

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Reply to "Is the line between "courtship" and harassment really that blurry?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People are making this too complicated.

1) If a person is preoccupied with something, the are not looking to talk.  Stranger reading a book/paper/phone, leave them alone.

2) If someone says no, ignores you, or whatever, leave them alone.

3) Do not touch anyone you don't have permission to touch.  This goes doubly so for the private parts.

The above applies to men or women.

Note:  rule 1 mostly applies to strangers.  If you see someone you know, you can say hi.  [/quote]

2 & 3 are spot on. Not sure I’ve ever see strangers in public that are not preoccupied?  If you don’t want strangers to meet in public places, just say so. [/quote]

#1is also clear, and this seems to be the one where all you posters seem to be being the most obtuse. Is the person doing something else, like reading a book/paper/using a laptop/staring blankly into space? Leave them alone. Making continued or frequent eye contact with you, chatting and smiling? Yeah, then you can approach.

Simple rule - if you don’t get eye contact and at least a smile, just leave them to do what they’re doing. [/quote]

#1 is so not clear.  I love to read, write and draw in public -- coffee shop, bar, park, etc.  Sometimes, I want to focus without talking with random people, and I will say so, but I have met the most interesting people that way.  It is a great way to meet people outside the usual circle.  Sometime I just like feeling the energy of a place.  The difference is like watching a game/performance on TV versus watching a game/performance in person.[/quote]

I am the pp (and have responded a few other times).  So, you would be ok with me saying I asking about what you are drawing?  I am not going to hit on you.  I just find people interesting.  Or at least most people interesting.  The bigger issue is people not taking no for an answer.  I do not care what circumstance, no is no.[/quote]

I am absolutely ok with people asking what I'm reading/drawing/writing or something unrelated.  If I need to concentrate, I make that clear.  Sometimes, I go places to eat or drink without do any of those things.  Once on a solo trip to San Fran I was at popular restaurant for lunch.  I was on vacation, but I could see some business people were there for lunch.  Very crowded.  I told the wait staff if there was another solo customer, I was open to sharing my table.  The person who sat with me turned out to be another tourist about 15-20 years older than me, and she was so interesting.  I had similar experiences without staff intervention.  Sometimes other solo people are looking for a place to sit and work/read or just sit, and we say nearly nothing between us.

It makes me sad that people on this board are bent in making the world a colder place.  Sure, there are some odd/awkward people out there.  People need to be aware and go with their instincts.  Sad that people blur the line between harassment and polite invitation to conversation.  So, so sad.[/quote]

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