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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Update!

Things have been going very, very well.  Boys are calming down, adjusting to the new normal.  Still obvious adjustments, and blips in the road, like when we were on summer vacation at the beach, my 8 year old out of the blue (for me, probably not for him) turned to me when we were swimming in the ocean and said "Daddy doesn't even care if he's not here - he didn't even cry when he told us he's leaving our family."  I guess that day when we told them about the divorce is permanently burned in his brain, and is really shaping how he views everything.

Anyway - I learned some new news yesterday.  The OW's husband called me.  First time I've ever spoken to him.  Apparently she's moved out, admitted the affair in so far as she agreed to an at-fault divorce based on adultery, and he hopes to have the divorce finalized by October.

He mentioned the last point of contention with them is where to send their 3 kids to school - apparently he wants them to still go to his neighborhood school (where the kids have all their friends, where they've toured the school, have classmates, etc) in Del Ray.  He said she's pushing to enroll them in a specific school in the new neighborhood she moved to in May . . . and when he said the name of the school my world, for the second time, freaking shattered.

SHE MOVED TO MY NEIGHBORHOOD.  2 blocks away from my house.  SHE'S PUSHING TO ENROLL HER KIDS AT MY CHILDREN'S SCHOOL.  They'd ride the same bus.

This is a small, small NoVa community.  There is absolutely NO WAY this is a coincidence.  She moved from Del Ray to my suburb in Fairfax County.  Three blocks in the other direction, she'd be in a different (and equally good) school pyramid.  4 blocks in the other direction and she'd be in a 3rd (equally good) school pyramid.  But she moved into this small, small subdivision that has very small elementary schools, and is pushing to enroll her children there.

My EX doesn't even live this close.  Why didn't she just move closer to him?

I'm livid.

I'm over the affair, I'm fine with the divorce, I don't care if they get married and live happily ever after.  What I don't want is them in MY neighborhood, at my community pool, in my face every day of the year.  I don't want to have to worry when my kids go to the park, they'll see their daddy there playing with her 3 kids.

I am particularly mortified about the social/school fall-out for all 5 of the children.  I'm tight with the moms in my neighborhood, and they all know my situation and have been so supportive.  I told them who she was over a YEAR ago, because I never in my WILDEST DREAMS thought that woman would move into my neighborhood!!!!    Now neighborhood gatherings are going to be awkward, birthday party invites strange, kids will be excluded (mine, hers, who knows?).

I don't understand why they can't just let me have my neighborhood community, let this be my sanctuary without all this drama.

Sigh.  I don't know that I'm going to be able to handle this. [/quote]

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