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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  As far as I know, they are still working together.  [b]They have adjacent offices, he's her direct supervisor.[/b]  My soon to be ex MIL asked him if they are still together, and all he told her was that he still hopes they will end up together, but that the OW is working on her marriage.  STBXH has alienated his whole family - neither of his siblings are talking to him, and his mother has made it clear that she loves him as her son, but that she disapproves of what he's doing, what he's done, and that she can never be more than just civil to the OW if she is in his life for the long term.

I ended up sending the OW's husband a message on FB.  We aren't FB friends, so I don't know if he got it or not.  I simply told him that the relationship between OW and my STBXH led to the dissolution of my marriage, and that if he had any questions I gave him information on how to contact me.  Done.  Never heard a word.

Doing that helped me sleep at night.  Not out of revenge... I was feeling burdened with this secret that I never agreed to have.  Like I was somehow complicit in their affair, and that I was no better than all the coworkers who probably knew what was going on and never said a word.  I didn't do it lightly - this was after months of struggling with the issue and discussing it in therapy.  It was the right decision for me, and I realize I don't care or need to know if he ever even read it - I'm not burdened with this destructive secret anymore.

As for the troll above - yes, I ruined the holidays.  I didn't have much choice, though, did I?  My STBX had already signed  lease on a new place and scheduled movers without telling me.  I suppose I could have not told the kids and let them be surprised when they came home from school to have daddy gone with no explanation.

That's just the thing that people don't get.  I didn't get it myself until it happened to me.  Sometimes you don't have any choice at all. He decided he was done and checked out of the marriage before we even started therapy.  
 [/quote]

Wow, [b]you could have really messed up his life [/b]by reporting this to his agency. Kudos to you for not and keeping at least that stable income for him to support your kids.

Ignore the troll. You did what you had to do and your kids will be better for it in the end despite the loss of married parents. His lies would have caught up to them regardless.[/quote]

No...he's taking huge risks and possibly messing up his own life. OP would have just sped up the process that he put in motion by himself.[/quote]

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